What do you think of leting baby cry?

Question

My baby is nearly 7 months old. At first she was a great little sleeper, would sleep right through from 9 at night til 6 in the morning. Over the last month or so, she has been waking frequently, crying out. I go to her and first try to settle, like re-wrap her and rub her tummy, turn her music box on etc. I dont get her out of bed. If she still cries, I'll get her a bottle which I feed to her while she is still in bed, then gently sit her up and wind her then she goes back to sleep. However this has started happening every few hours. I am sooo tired! I though by leaving her to cry she would settle herself back to sleep but now I have read that she probably just wanted a cuddle and reassurance and I should have gone to her. I feel so guilty and that I have done the wrong thing. This morning she cried for ages after I had changed her nappy and fed her, cuddles and when I eventually went and got her she stopped crying straight away.

Answer 1

Do you think it could be teething?  7 months sounds like that.

I've read a lot of contradictory statements about this sort of thing.  After 6 months, let them cry it out.  Go to them every time.  etc.  My little one is 9 months old and some nights she just has a hard time sleeping.  Is your little one on solids?  Because ours is and that's helped a great deal in sleeping through the night.  I make sure she gets a good amount of oatmeal before bed, sticks to her ribs and helps her sleep longer.

One thing I do know is to make sure that you try to make the bed the same when they fall asleep as when they wake up so that they can go back to sleep easier.  The use of props (music boxes, pacifiers, etc) can make it hard for the baby to go to sleep (the music was on when they went to sleep... it's not on now... baby can't go back to sleep.  You have to get up to put it on again.  That's why they suggest white noise machines.)  

But your little one may be experiencing a growth spurt and needing feedings more.  Or your little one may be having teething pains and waking up from that.  Just have patience.  There's a reason they call this year the year of no sleep.  ;)  

Answer 2

Please don't ever feel guilty for not knowing something about your baby!! nobody knowseverything and the tireder you get, the more stressed you will get. I think you are doing the right thing in not getting her out of bed but are trying to settle her in her cot. You may find that her teeth are moving. Keep trying! I am not a big fan of the controlled crying thing but sometimes you just need to let them go for your own sanity!!

Answer 3

waking at night usually occurs around 7-9 months this is one situation were she may especially need you for comfort. babies actually awaken several times through the night without crying out for there parent. Janet younger, a nurse who has studied this subject extensively found that night waking or at least babies calling out when they do awake at night often begins after the onset of seperation anxiety and stranger anxiety. reason for these calls in the night are thought to be largely psychological having to do much with seperation anxiety. they wake up realizing they are alone and they are frightened.

does responding to your childs night time cries spoil your child or encourage this to becoma a habit? does ignoring her break the cycle? No one, expert or layman can give the definite answer. we recommend responding just as we recommend responding when she cries during the day. night waking is a behavior, not a bad habit. your baby doesnt wake her self on purpose just so she can call for you. she cries or calls because she needs you. if she fears abandonment her worst fears will be realized when you dont respond.

when you hear a night time cry listen to the tone before responding if its not urgent give your baby a chance to comfort herself. but if she still complains after a few minutes or begans to sound really upset then its time to help calm her down again. Try calling in so she can hear your voice. if that doesnt comfort her go into her room and tell her your there in your own bed right near her perhaps sit next to her crib for a while or rub her back soothingly. or rock or carry her quietly around the room. leep the room dim and quiet to give the message that its still sleep time. keep your voice to the matter at hand, which is sleep not play not songs not games and not food unless she still has regular nighttime feeding

hope i helped

Answer 4

Cuddle her and then put her back into bed and if she crys then leave her for a few minutes then go back in. My last resort but ur baby will be okay if she crys for a couple of minutes

Answer 5

I am completely with letting your baby cry.  I have a 10 month old baby boy and its come to just letting him tough it out in his crib.  I completely understand the guilt you feel when you have to listen to your sweetheart be so upset, but for your own sanity, its sometimes the best way to go.  I have been battling the same guilt, but realize that its better he cry alone then to cry in my arms while I'm frustrated.    

Answer 6

herés are some baby language ..... and what baby cries means ::

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPXsoZ_F0...

Answer 7

I agree with "Mumkoc", 10 thumbs up!!!  My son is now 6 weeks n 3 days, and reading all the responses has helped me.  Cheers

Answer 8

I may get thumbs for this but my girl is 8 months old, she never slept that well, til i put her on a bottle and she started eating solids, but even then i was lucky to get 5 hours!!! Then eventually my nurse told me that she did need to wake up... So when i gave her dinner, Which is oats as it makes them fuller for longer. then our bedtime routine, she stirred at 11pm, but i gave her a bottle, then she woke at 3am, thats when i was determined, I changed her nappy, which wasn't wet, but changed it then resettled her then put her to bed, of course she cried!!! Then every 5-7 minutes i would go in then put her dummy in but then 15 minutes later, quite! Slept til 7am, then the next night, she didn't even wake up!!! She went to bed at 8pm then woke at 7am!!! I was shocked... So yes it can be goos, as long as your bub isn't crying for hours non stop. But also is you go in and cuddle etc then every night they will expect it... I've been through it twice now, and my son had me wrapped me around his finger, he never slept through the night til he was over 2 years.. With our second i was determined before 1 year, she would sleep. Now we're there, sometimes she may stir and i have to go in and put her dummy in but thats it, she has a star that plays music to soothe her, so i turn that on and her dummy and sh just settles back down.. It doesn't hurt a baby to cry a little but i would never recommend it to a baby under 6-7 months, they are too little but it is your choice... But crying doesn't hurt anyone, as long as you give lots of cuddles in the morning!!! Anything is worth a try... Now i get 11 hours peace and quiet!!! I thought it would never happen!!!

Answer 9

Your doing a great job, it would be wrong if your baby was crying because she was hungry and you wouldnt get her some food or something but it sounds like she is just crying because she has forgotten to settle herself to sleep. This happened to my son he would wake every 3 hours when I stopped breast feeding him so I did 2 nights of controlled crying (and yes you feel really bad about it) and after that he was great.. In my opinion you shold not be cuddling her or it will never end so she will wake up in the middle of the night and cry untill you cuddle her and settle her back to sleep. I went to sleep school with my son and they say let him cry for 5 minutes and if he is still crying go into the room just to make sure she is safe ( dont speak to her or make any eye contact) and pop her dummy back in if she takes one and just keep doing it, even if it takes you all night she will learn very quickley! Now my son gos to sleep at 8 at night and doesnt wake up untill 10-30 in the morning!  Your are doing a great job dont underestimate yourself, You need to show her whos boss hehe  Good Luck   Sorry about the essay..

Answer 10

Just persevere and hold her to settle her down.

after she has settled put her in her cot and sit beside her until she falls asleep.

it just reassures her that you are there and she is safe.

Answer 11

well you're doing exactly what i would be doing, but maybe try picking her up first off, cuddling with her and once she stops crying- put her down to sleep and offer the bottle/music/etc. it sounds as if she's been startled by something and just needs reassurance. i would want to find out what was scaring her, if possible, stay one night in her room and listen for any new noises that may be startling her awake. and p.s. don't feel guilty- and i'm sure you can decode your babies cries better than a website can.

Answer 12

I know how you feel.When my son was about 4mths old he kept waking up and yes i was a first time mum then.I always went into him wether it was to put his dummy back in his mouth or just check on him because he kept crying.I ended up taking him to the doctors thinking something was wrong,she told me he was doing it for attention knowing i was goin into him all the time she told me about control crying.So i tried it with in a week he slept all night never woke up for a feed but ti does depend on the baby it could be teething see how things go if you are concerned go see doctor.

Answer 13

I have never let my baby cry because I know that he doesn't cry for his own amusement. He cries because he needs me. At this age a baby's needs are still very "mysterious" sometimes. I know he needs to be held. Do I know exactly why or what woke him up? Not always but I don't think it matters. You are a parent at 4am just as you are a parent at four in the afternoon. A baby's needs do not stop existing when the sun sets but somehow so many people stop being caring at that point. I recommend you cuddle her to sleep FIRST thing. I think you will be amazed at how quickly she settles and becomes content. Anytime you ignore your baby's cries you are in essence giving the message that they are on their own, you don't care and you can't be trusted to help them.  

Answer 14

I think your baby is normal assuming you are happy there is nothing medically wrong with her.

Acceptance - if there is nothing wrong with your baby (trust your instincts) - that is the answer to your dilemma.      I will give you my experience.  The same thing happened with my youngest daughter.  There was nothing wrong with her - she just cried and would not sleep by herself.  She would not go to anyone and screamed if anyone but me, her father or grandfather touched her. It got to the point that due to lack of sleep we put her in our bed and miraculously she stopped crying.  The only way she would go to sleep was to be cuddled to sleep by me.  Everyone told me it was wrong that she was in our bed but desperation had driven us to allow this. At least we were getting some sleep and could function.  

We were even convinced to get a parenting centre to come out and teach her/us controlled crying - bad idea.  After being told confidently that it had never failed before, I gritted my teeth and listened to my baby cry for 6 hours (did the checking, feeding, nappies etc during this time).  After this the 'expert' left stating to persevere and she would eventually go to sleep in her own cot, I gave in and rescued her, feeling like a failure.   Then I saw my local gp who had alternate theories on this.  

She explained to me that it was only in the 50's/60's that we became affluent enuf to have a separate bed and then bedroom for babies.  Prior to that babies slept with parents.   Babies spent their 1st 9 months in constant contact with mum and then suddenly we were putting them in their own bed / bedroom by themselves - no wonder they cry!  I'd be scared and feel abandoned. You are the centre of baby's life.  You are all she knows and she wants to be with you and touch you.    The best feeling in the world is to be woken by a tiny sleepy hand just reaching out to touch you for reassurance.

This put everything into perspective for us.  Who cared what the latest 'trend' was on raising babies? I truly do not believe in controlled crying/in own beds anymore.    I believe if you can accept your baby in your bed or even bedroom then do it.   Baby is happy.  You are getting sleep.  Your partner is getting sleep.   You and your partner have to reconsider bedroom antics but necessity makes you more adventurous.  

Finally, one night when my daughter was 3 years old she suddenly said 'I'm tired and going to bed'.  She got up and went to her own bed in her own bedroom and has spent every night since there.  She is the best sleeper now.  Within moments of her head hitting the pillow she is asleep and she wakes up happy every day - she's now 9 and is the best child.  We never imagined that our 'devil child' would be so well centred, happy, healthy and loving.

If you can accept that this is normal and that you don't have to fight with your baby to do what is socially expected, you will all be happier.  Baby has no idea of what is socially expected.

Believe in yourself and your baby

Take care and best wishes

Answer 15

You need to learn to understand why your baby is crying.

Babies don't cry for no reason, they don't understand the concept of wanting attention, they are too young to understand that.

All that they understand is that they have a need.

You CAN learn to interpret what they need is by listening to the sound your baby makes when it cries.

Try this website to help you with learning how to interpret your babies cries:

http://hubpages.com/hub/Why_is_my_baby_c...

Answer 16

I dont let my baby cry.  They are brand new humans an they need the reassurance all the time.  Everything is new and sometimes scary so I make sure I always hold and cuddle baby when she cries for it.  That is the only way they know how to communicate with you so if you ignore it, it makes them think they are not worth anything and they stop.  They start to think they are not important the older they get.  Please hold baby when she cries.