What do you think of my Beautiful Mars Trigee?

Question

TRIGEE: The Trigee is a three-in-one poem. They are built by combining two short poems into a third large one by stringing the lines together. The left stanza is read first, the right stanza second, then the combined lines make the third poem.

Again, there are no rhyme and meter requirements.

Beautiful Mars Trigee

Talcom Powder......................Sawdust dunes,

Flour of zinc...........................In rustic hues,

Beauty so rare.......................Such radient glare,

Spontanious imp....................Mars Crimson flare.

Meaning of Flower Of Zink.

http://www.rhymezone.com/r/d?u=flowers_of_zinc

Answer 1

I'm confused - if 'flower of zinc' is what it is, why is yours 'flour of zinc' - I'm not being picky (honest) I really want to know.

I'm being picky now - 'radiant' is spelled like this, and 'spontaneous' is spelled like this....didn't old eraser head shout at you?

So, your beautiful Mars trigee is perfect in sentiment and content and form, but imperfect in spelling. =)

Well done - I don't think I have the brain for these!!

Answer 2

Boy, are you lucky I did not get here first.  A giant soapbox would have been erected for you chastising!  I liked sawdust dunes.  Why not consider starting with 'talcum powdered,' Overall, spelling errors aside, I like.

Answer 3

all Mars Trigees are cool, you know that!!

Answer 4

I am Batman.

Answer 5

Beautiful Trigree, beautifully done

Answer 6

very nice

Answer 7

i think it sounds cool.   :)

Answer 8

WOW!   I love this one.

Smugly, I remembered flour of zinc from chemistry.

I love Talcum powder... Sawdust dunes.

Must do my own again....

Answer 9

Enchanting dust.

Answer 10

This is GREAT!

Slow down and double check your spelling before you hit that submit button. You're working too hard on these to let them fizzle because of little mistakes.

Again: FABULOUS!

Answer 11

You are becoming my teacher for these.