What do you think of my New Essence poem using Neomans Idea! : )?

Question

Essence

The Essence, created by Emily Romano is a short, structured form of two-lines,

six syllables each with an end rhyme and internal rhyme.

Put in stanza's Creative idea from Neonman! : )

Love & Life Not the tittle just give you an idea of what poem is about. Cheers : )

Salt Lake City, Subsides,

Ocean claims pretty bride,

Sand sifts between my toes,

Life’s gifts to have my rose,

Winds churn the sea shore tide,

Surfers learn, overcome ride,

When sea departs the sand,

Life taken by Gods hand.

Answer 1

They are really good! You are doing a magnificent job experimenting bravely with new styles.

Answer 2

Very nice.  You could also do this in 4 line stanzas.