What do you think of my Prologue?

Question

Benjamin Grim couldn’t sleep. The storm rattled his bed as he lay awake. Ben was only seven at the point in time, and he was considering going to his mom’s room. He moved nearer, to the edge of his bed, and fstuck his head out just to see if “anything” was at hand. The lightning lit his room for the second. Ben saw nothing abnormal. He kicked his covers over and slid his feet to the edge.

“This has to be fast,” Ben thought. With all his courage he ran to the door and opened it. His mom’s room was all the way on the other side. The wooden floor was cold to the touch. Lightning striked again. The hall illuminated while Ben scanned it. This was it.

Ben ran as fast as he could but the thing behind him was much quicker. Right after his second stride he fell to the floor. A hand clutched his ankle. He immediately fell to the floor. Ben took a glance back at what had grabbed him. The lightning hit again and he saw a person in a cloak.

Will add rest in details

Answer 1

Why make this scene the prologue when it could provide excellent dialogue and action within a chapter? It seems to me that the scene you've written would be crucial to your story--especially the details as you described.

Nevertheless, the prologue, as you have it now, needs a lot of serious editing. Ask a qualified non-friend or relative to help you with it. Otherwise, place it in a chapter and take advantage of action dialogue and chilling scenes. You'd be foolish to keep it as the prologue.

Answer 2

it's great

well done