Question:

What do you think of my essay?

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Environmental protection is a controversial topic that has been in debate for several years. You’ve probably heard about it in different movies such as The Day After Tomorrow or heard about speakers such as Al Gore. Even with all of this talk some people are in denial about what is actually happening to the Earth. Even if Global Warming is not happening, the point of the matter is that one day something will happen. People should realize that the Earth should be kept clean for health reasons, as well as to help the living things on the Earth, and to avoid air and water pollution.

One point in this matter is health concerns. There are several health concerns that impact us such as poisoning of our water. If something were to happen to our water supply, many people could become sick. Another point to this is that scientists have some indication that people with asthma can conduct worse attacks if the air is bad. These are only two of the many, many health concerns that are related to pollution but there are several others.

Another issue we have to think about it our wildlife. Recently you have heard on the news about a decrease of Polar Bears. These fascinating creatures are becoming extinct because the ice is melting too early. Therefore these animals can’t and won’t get enough to eat. Their cubs aren’t being able to learn what they need to in order to survive. Many of the cubs either become orphans or die before they reach their first birthday. Again, there are many species that will be affected if the polar bears die out. It will be a chain of events for even more species to die as well.

The next issue, but certainly not the last, is air and water pollution. The air is important to every living thing on this Earth. Once we have destroyed it, it is gone for good. All of us must take steps to insure that the air quality stays at a good level. If not we could end up with an Earth with no oxygen or that has been in contact with waste that would make the air we breathe lethal to us and things around us. Water is important, as well. We drink water and our bodies are made up of eighty-three percent of water. We could die if a toxic waste got into the supply we have. Also think of the vast majority of fish and other creatures that make their homes in water. If we pollute the water with not only waste but trash the living creatures will die out. We already have some of this going on in our barrier reefs. The fish and coral living in these areas have died out because of pollution.

These are just a small amount of facts as to why we should help protect our Earth. The living things here are sacred and we need to preserve them for as long as we can. The health of future generations, the living creatures, and air and waste need to be protected. We might as well be safe, than sorry.

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2 ANSWERS


  1. It sounds very convincing. Great.


  2. You need to fix up your opening paragraph. Your thesis doesn't flow and you need to summarize what your points are going to be for your body paragraphs. This is the outline you need to work with:

    Hook

    Thesis

    Summarized points

    Body paragraph (1 paragraph of each point with extended explanation and citations if needed [make sure you only bring up points you introduced in the introduction paragraph])

    Make sure point links back to thesis

    Repeat thesis (not verbatim from your introduction, different words)

    Summarize your points and how they link back with your thesis

    Concluding sentence

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