What do you think of my former priest & about me? Was I rude? Thanks

Question

Okay, a few days ago I asked a q about running into my former priest at my job. I'm episcopalian so she's a woman. She asked me lots of q's but seemed to be hesitant to leave so I decided to email her to give her the opportunity to talk about whatever she wanted. She was terminated this year. I don't know why. I think my uncle told her about fam probs. I stopped going to church b/c ppl were disrespecting me. I looked up her email asked her did she get the books she wanted, I hoped her sons enjoy the graphic novels, and I asked about her fam. She didn't respond. Well, today she walked in again. I kept working. I was sorting books. She walked over to my section and said thanks for the email, I nodded. (I've always had a prob taking credit for stuff). Well, she asked me some q's about where to find stuff, I told her. She went to go look and I kept sorting. She then called my name and said thank you, I looked up she said thank you again. I said uh hmm b/c I figured I have to say something even tho I've never like your welcome b/c I don't feel tht ppl have to thank for small stuff. She left; I kept working.

Answer 1

She wasn't just thanking you for the directions in the store - she was thanking you for taking the time to reach out andtalk to to her via email, for accepting her as she is.

Answer 2

The priest was acting mature and appropriate for her position. You were not entirely rude, but it's not correct to say "uh huh" when someone says thank you. A better reply would have been "You're welcome - have a good afternoon!"  That's being polite and friendly. Saying "uh huh" is dismissive and disrespectful.

It may seem odd to say "you're welcome" when people say "thank you" for something that seems trivial to you, but it means something to them so they feel it's right to say thank you. Accept their graciousness and respond politely.

Hope this is helpful.

Answer 3

The problem is that your interactions with people seem to be judged by what's convenient for you and not any consideration for how others feel.

The largest part of proper social etiquette and manners has to do with giving others due consideration.  If you are considerate with people they will respond back to you in a positive way.  

The former priest seemed to be looking to engage in friendly repoire with you the first time at the store and you for whatever reason either didn't pick up on that or were hesitant to have social interaction.

You know you didn't treat this person as well as you should have and this is why you posted here. Sounds like you are growing up which includes becoming more self aware and more sensitive to how others perceive you and how you make them feel.

Saying "you're welcome" is considered an appropriate response when someone thanks you as it acknowledges their consideration of you.  It is reciprocal.  That reciprocation shows that you are a kind and thoughtful person; someone they can turn to possibly next time or someone they will speak highly of.

Most importantly such consideration is the first step to building relationships and relationships are what we all need in order to survive.

Answer 4

Yes.  You were rude.  You could have at least offered a smile and an uncomfortable "no problem."  The fact that you barely replied may not express insincerity on your part, but was probably inferred as insincerity by her.  

Answer 5

Yes, your shyness continues to make you rude.

Answer 6

An outgoing smile and a "you're welcome" is all that she was looking for.  Is that so hard?

Answer 7

Yes, you should have at least tried to be friendly in any way, she would have caught on to that at least you tried to be friendly.

Answer 8

No you weren't rude. Although sometime in life you have to learn to say.. No problem.. or you are welcome when you do something for others.. if people come into the library.. for example.. if it's hard for you if someone genuinely thanks you.. in the future.. then instead of saying ''you are welcome'' smile at them, that's as good as. So no you weren't rude and she understood.. and she is grateful.. nothing lost here.. just try to smile when someone thanks you in the future if you don't want to say..'that's alright'' or ''you are welcome'' a smile will do the same all the time.. or even better. xx