What do you think of my idea to raise this child?

Question

well, I'm nearly 15 and I have a 3 year old niece. My niece's dad( my brother) Isn't in her life because he doesn't have his life straightened out. My nieces mom and step dad are into hardcore drugs such as methamphetamine. Well my mom and I came up with a plan. My mom and dad said they'd financially support her and pay for court and what not and they would adopt her if I would be the one to technically raise her. Meaning I be the one to discipline her, help her with homework when she's older, instill morals, values, respect, responsibility, and all that. She'd call me mom. My parents said they want it this way because they currently do not have to patience to raise a child. If we decide on this then I will be home-schooled so I can be with her all day. I feel like I have to do this because I don't want her in a foster home (I've experienced it myself) and no other family members are willing to adopt her and she's definitely not in a good situation.

I'd also like to add that I am fully aware of how people will treat me that do not know the situation when we're in public and they hear her call me mommy. People already do that just when I hold her so I'm used to it.

Answer 1

First of all, I'm so relieved you didn't get yourself knocked up. It's great to see some maturity in teenagers.

Second of all, it's going to be hard. The only advice I can really give is go to a parenting class, read every book you can get your hands on, and try not to take your parenting advice from Yahoo Answers. :)

Answer 2

i'm a little older then you. and I wouldn't wanna do this. but in the given situation I would do it.

Answer 3

this is one of the most stupid idea's i have ever heard. i understand you are trying to help the child, but no matter how mature you think you are, you are a child yourself and you do not have the life experience necessaryto raise this little girl. She is in a terrible situation, but you are not the one responsible. you may have had a bad experience with foster parents but there are alot of lovely people out there willing to give her a loving home to grow in. as for calling you mum, NO, she has a mother and she is 3 years old, you will cause her alot of confusion and problems to try and make her call you mum when she knows she already has one, despite the fact her mother doesnt deserve a child. your parents must be just as bad if they are willing to burden you with this at 15 years old.  for a start it is illegal. you are a very nieve young girl and despite your best intentions beleive me, you will be doing more harm than good for this child if you go through with this.

Answer 4

In all honestly, your parents should NOT put that burden on you. But with the way you've explained it, I would do the exact same thing. It sounds like the child will be better off with you than anywhere else, especially in a foster home. It's going to be hard and you'll probably cry a lot, but you can do it.

If you aren't already, get in church. Even if you don't believe in God, just go and listen. You are not obligated to anything just by going. You'll feel a lot of love and support there, maybe even some free counseling and childcare. If you find a good one, you can achieve many, many great things through a church. Look around and attend a few, then pick the one that seems more open to you. I'm not pushing Christianity on you in any way, it's just an idea.

All I can say is that if you take this responsibility, take it on FULLY. Do NOT go through with this and then get tired of it and start slacking off because she's not actually your child. If the baby girl calls you Mommy, that's it. You can't turn back. This is a life changing decision and you should think long, long, long, and extremely hard about it.

And...have the child's parents given up full custody of the little girl to you? If not, don't take the girl until they do or take them to court and get your parents to adopt her and let you take care of her. If this isn't done legally, the mom and dad could take you to court any day they choose and win her back just for the simple fact that they are her biological parents. I've seen it happen. This could be an incredibly traumatizing event for you and the child, so PLEASE go about this legally and make sure that everything is tight and secure. You may not think that they would take her back, but having a child and being poor means a check from the government and more drug money. Please, please, please get her into safe hands. You cannot legally adopt her since you are only 15, but your parents can and since they are connected to you, you can 100% care for her now and adopt her when you are 18.

Good luck, honey. Raise that baby girl with love and affection and do not give up her. She's already had one set of parents abandon her, don't do the same. Once you take her and adopt her, she's yours.

Answer 5

woah, thats really nice of u, i think you should go for it. You seem super maature and could handle what people say about u and stuff. I think u should go for it :) You could give her such a good life just by being there for her:) good luck!

Answer 6

That's awfully nice of you, but I can't believe your parents would want this for their 15 year old.