What do you think of my lyrics? Scale of 1-10 or 1 - 20, whatever you like?

Question

You know, i've never really thaught of rap as a career, but recently, the thaught has begun to steer

It's not that I don't got what it takes to make it big, just **** like this aint ussually associated with people like me,

you know,

The wealthy spoiled white boy who don't get in trouble,

Whos a freekin saint in the eyes of his mother,

But I say, all that ****, dont mean nadda

If I can rhyme, and I got somethin' to say, im'a make it public,

And if you don't like it, you can just shove it!

And take a couple shots of anti-freeze, no, CHUG IT!

So let my message be clear, i speak for the public, the kids who don't have a voice,

God love it!

So let's dive right in, I wanna hear about your problems, cause now that you have a voice, lets have fun wit it.

So grab a pencil, and some paper, and get rhymin,

Cause you'll be heard through your bars, it's an expression, no lyin',

Cause hip-hops a way to release anger, and to stop you from cryin', or it can just be a hobby you do when you have time,

But no matter why you do it, it's an expression of self,

Its a way to release, a thereputic rebel,

So don't let who you are, or where you come from block your dream,

if you want it, then take it,

It's simpler than it seems

~ The first verse of the first song on my upcoming ablum: Did you like it, why? or why not?

I appreciate you input, thanks :)

*Copyright Laws and terms: Redler Records

Answer 1

It didnt really rhyme cause it was censored.  I wanna read it and see if you're good so I would appreciate it very much if you could e-mail me the real song with no censors cause I know all the curse words and reading them will not harm my fragile mind.  I just wanna read your real lyrics uncensored in order to see what you got.  Once I read the lyrics I will send you a message with my thoughts and critique if you want.  Send them to [e-mail] not to the 20 year old cause yahoo will censor your words.

Answer 2

is it about making your dreams come true? if so i thought it was excellent. life can be c**p, and dreams are so important. i love it. add more lyrics and i personally think it could be a big hit.

Good luck with it   19/20 add more words and the extra point will be added

Answer 3

Im not really a good person to anwser this cuz I pretty much hate most rap. But I like this because its not the normal cliche rap that talks about naked girls, or killing, or drugs ect., it talks about something beyond that which is what will make you unique.

I like the first verse but it sounds a little bit awakward (With the rhyme steer) beacuse its not a common word and therefore sounds like a forced rhyme.

I would change it to:

"You know, i've never really thought of rap as a career, but recently, the idea became so clear"

I love the lines

"So let my message be clear, i speak for the public, the kids who don't have a voice"

And

"But no matter why you do it, it's an expression of self,

Its a way to release, a thereputic rebel"

I was actually impressed when I read this because its different, unique and the words/ideas you use are so real and honest, Never lose that. Good Luck! =]