What do you think of my novel so far?

Question

its sorta like the clique series but a little different i only sarted wrtting the frist page a copule weeks ago what do you think so far and give me ideas too make it better if your GOING TO BE MEAN ABOUT IT OR WRITE SPAM I WILL REOPTRT YOU HAVE A NICE EVENIG

CH 1 heratige palce the kitchen 10.00pm aug 1st

karaina scremned in a high pitch voice to show her mother, rachel that shes going to have her way no matter what . but all it did was create tension between them.karina looked to her father jack to help her out but he just said camly obey your mother for once.but her resopne was why do i have to spend the rest of my summer meeting the melendaz famliy?yes you do rachel said.pagie is sarting the 8th grade on monday too so you should have plenty to talk about.what like senice karina yelled.there dads friends not mine.well there will be soon enough .thats what you think ,karina ran up the sratis with her h***s on to get her mother back for making her life soo unfair

thats only the frist page tell me what you think

elizabeth

Answer 1

it good, REALLY GOOD but not superb YET

try not making it a little less complakated

Answer 2

Frankly you have almost no grammar what-so-ever. You don't even capitalize in most places not to mention it's hard to tell who'd talking. It can help if maybe you describe something about how a person is saying something lie ie: "I hate your dog" Kathy said with a wink, it was an old joke. This will help add some depth and dimension to your characters.

Secondly, while I understand that Karaina is not happy about meeting her fathers friends, this is hardly a preview of the plot. I really have no idea what the motives are, what the conflict is or why it's there. This is why the preview on the back of books (or on the inside cover) is about 500 words, it's so people can get an idea about whats going on, if they'll be able to relate to the character. In the course of this post I will write more than your entire story.

Finally, I don't think you re-read this at all this scentence makes no sense to me.

"karina ran up the sratis with her h***s on to get her mother back for making her life soo unfair"

I think I understand that Katrina has run up the stairs yelling threats of revenge directed at her mother, who has supposedly made her life unfair. But to be honest how did you miss "stratis" and "h***s on her mother" It seems like you didn't proof read this at all.

Finaly, I comend you for attempting this difficult art! Writing is not easy, even a short story can take monthes to years to perfect. I would suggest going to a teacher to help you edit this and maybe set down a plot.

Answer 3

Bad grammar. It sounds EXACTLY like the clique series.

Answer 4

um I'm confused on who is talking. maybe add quotation marks and new paragraphs when someone different talks. you also need commas and stuff, but if all of that was fixed, it could be good

Thanks for answering mine :]

Answer 5

Hey,

Don't listen to the nasty people above me their jealous, i think it was really good and makes me want to read on! :)

xxxx

Answer 6

I think it was pretty bad and boring, more like a bad fanfiction of some kind. Very bad grammar too.

Sorry =)

Answer 7

Umm...have you ever heard of grammar and punctuation? Sorry, but I can't even understand what you're trying to say because there are so many spelling errors and confusing sentences. There's this thing on computers called Spell Check....

And isn't a page generally a bit longer than that?

Really, I'm not trying to be rude, just honest.

Also, a word of advice...if you can't take criticism, it's not a good idea to post your stuff for loads of people to see.

How old are you...?

Answer 8

give the girl a big reason to stay at home for the summer (boyfriend, big concert, something that absolutely no one would want to miss.)

Answer 9

way to much like the clique series get some originality or ill report you for copyrighting a suckish series of books