What do you think of my peom?

Question

"A Day At The Pool"

I watch the water glimmer in the sunlight.

I have never seen such a wonderful sight.

The water is cold as ice.

But the sun makes it feel so nice.

The water gets cooler as day turns to night.

That's when you hold your loved one tight.

As the moon and stars come out to play.

You wish forever there you could stay.

But I am sad to say all good things must come to an end.

Until another day at the pool you will spend.

I wrote this about 10 years ago. Please tell me what you think.

Thanks to all who answer!! :)

Answer 1

light and cheerful

.. it is neat to go back and find the poems we wrote years ago isn't it...

cool!

Answer 2

you can even make a common thing like a pool have a meaning, its wonderful i would never think of that, usually when it comes to write a poem where the element water enters, we usually use the sea, river, lake,etc, but thats really original, its new and fresh, really loved it, and the reference of the stars and loved one, its just what i like to see, you know im not kidding when i say you should right a book, something that i could buy and feel pride to have in my room, where i could read all those wonderful poems when ever i feel like it and to show my friends, i bet you wrote this poem when you were dating Greg, anyway the point here is that  poems are a reflection of the writer, and so i can see that you really are an outstanding person with a beautiful heart and mind:)

Answer 3

pretty clever!

Answer 4

gd rhym its r3ally good...=D

Answer 5

its kool

Answer 6

Psh.. i like it! the rhyming helped it flow.. ! Good Job

A

Answer 7

Beautiful..direct ..simple.. closer to a song . I hope U didn't stop writing!

Answer 8

Its a bit basic and cliche--Nothing surprised me really--and the rhyme is a bit stifled

Answer 9

Nice :)

Answer 10

i don't like it very much, I truly hope that your poetry have grown maturely and much more difficult than this. i truly don't believe this can be your best effort. i love your thought, but i thought you could have been more deeper and not so abstract.

Answer 11

nice rhyme i liked it :D

Answer 12

its a very awesome poem! but it could use different punctuation rather than periods at the end of each line.

Answer 13

Hi!

Yay!! You posted another poem!!

OMG!!! I love the water!! Very good poem!! And it rhymes too! Water is such a beautiful thing!!

I don't care how cold the water is...if it is there...I am going to swim in it!! LoL!

Kalex's Kirbys >>    <(*.*<) (^*.*^) (>*.*)> Ain't they cute!! 

Fine Rebels!

Answer 14

love it

roses r red violets r blue i love and everyone should too