Question:

What do you think of my play so far?

by  |  earlier

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its about a seagull who leaves his home with his ma and pa in the desert to go to everett, WA where he meets pigons who lead him into a life of crime, stealing chips from a failing corner store, the seagull atracts costumers to the store, and gets on the news, a near by school who is in danger of loosing the seagull as a masscot use the news clip to prove to everyone that seagulls are amazing creatures- this is what i have so far

seagull

the scean is on a nest in a cactus in the desert

sam, ma and pa are there. ma and pa look worried sam looks determened

ma- son, you wanted to talk to us about something?

pa- something ...important?

sam- yhea, ma... pa, i cant live like this anymore

ma- like what sweetie?

sam- in this heat! the sun is way to hot,

sun- (sun comes out onto the stage dressed in a yellow sequin dress, a sash that says narrator and fluffing her hair- the family cannot see her) well thank you, your looking preety good your self!

sam- the ground is dry, theres nothing to look at for miles and miles... and i want to leave the desert and go... (very dramaticly) to the city

(ma faints, pa catches her and sam helps him prop ma up on a chair)

pa- whats so great about the city?

sam- theres other seagulls there, water, food every wear you go... (looks at pa and see that hes not convinced) and maby i can... (looks reluctant to say what hes about to say) maby i can... (sigh) maby i can (spitting it out as fast as he can) make something of myself (smiles akwardly)

pa- (brightining) you could bring a good name to seagulls every ware! you know thats always been my dream (looks of into the distance) did i ever tell you about the time-

sam- (hurridly interuppting sam) i know, i know- you and ma flew all the way to the desert to raise me to be a good, respectable kid, so can i go?

pa- of course! (glances at ma) but go before your ma comes to... ill say good bye for you!

sam- you know mas going to be mad...

pa- well thats my bisness not yours, go on! good bye!

sam- ok! bye pa! you wont regret this!

pa- make me proud son!

(curtians close the sun stands in front of them)

sun (narator)- so sam flew, and flew right out of the desert and right to everett washington... we’ll get back to sam later right now lets go to everett highschool- home of the seagulls- convenient isint it?

(we see a class room setting the SBP looks nervus)

student body presedent (SBP)- guys i have some good news and some bad news...

vice presedent (vp)- (worridly) bad news?

SBP- the school district wants us to change our masscot

treasur(t)- WHAT!

secratary(s)- they cant do that!

SBP- well, i think thay can

VP- we cant let them!

T- whats wrong with seagulls?

SBP- apperently there not “popular” enough and the district wants us to be the chickens

S- the chickens!!!!! we cant be called CHICKENS

VP-thats the most stupid thing i’ve ever herd of

S- whats the good news?

SBP- we have 2 weeks to convince them that a seagull would make a better mascott

T- how are we going to do that?

SBP- what we need is a miricle

(everyone freezes lights dim and spotlight apperes on the sun)

sun- well if you think that sucks folks- wait untill you see sam!!!!

(curtian closses behind sun- sun is joined by clouds- the clouds swarm around her the group

makes its way off stage- sun looking quite annoyed. cutian opens revealing sam sitting out side of The Shop he is begging The Pigions for food)

sam- cant i have some food? just one little nibble?

Pigion 1 (p1)- no

sam- please???

Pigion 2 (P2)- no

sam- pretty, pretty please

Pigion 3 (p3)- no

sam- i’ll do any thing!

P1- anything?

sam- anything!

p2- umm we need to consult....

(the pigions huddle)

P3- ok heres some bread

P2- you go to work tomorrow

sam- (smiling and scarfing down bread) you guys are great!! see ya tomorow!!!!!

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7 ANSWERS


  1. is awesome


  2. i think its better then my play about a saghuaro a prickley pear and two barrel cacti its soooo stubid

    barrel cactus 1 walks in: (in a western bell tone) well i do declare its a hot day in the desert!

    the saghuaro comes by:(puts shade over the barrel cactus) there you go mylady (talks in a mature wealthy voice)

    barrel cactus 1: im soooooo hungry!



    prickley pear walks in: hands fruit: (in a hillbilly voice) ahuck ahuck here you go mam!

    barrel cactus 1: why thank yall for helping little ol' me

    saghuaro: SHE'S MY GAL YOU SILLY HILLBILLY!

    prickley pear: NO SHE'SY GAL YOU WEALTHY RUFFIAN!

    (prickly pear and saghuaro fight)

    barrel cactus 2: (in a cowboy like tone) hello mam are these two bothering you?

    barrel cactus 1: oh wow a man my size!!! giggles

    barrel cactus 1 and 2 walk off stage while the saghauro and prickly pear fight there way off stage

    SEE BAD!!! YOURS IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!


  3. BADDDDDDDDDDD

  4. it's ok. It needs loads of editing. I don't think you used a single capital letter, and you misspelled tons of words. Besides that, it's pretty good.

  5. g*y

  6. It's okay...

    but how are you going to have seagulls act this out?

    It's a play, you said...would it be cost effective to make seagull costumes?

  7. ok

    well........

    personally

    it sounds really corny

    I would change your characters

    and defiantly change the second half

    It sounds very similar to oliver twist actually

    Being a theater person myself

    I would choose a different theme

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