Question:

What do you think of my poem? please be honest, I dont mind harsh critiscm?

by  |  earlier

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Mystifing Passionate Twisted Business

Category: Writing and Poetry

I felt the need to achieve the sense of completeness

because my heart sunk in the darkness of my abyss-ness

a mystifing passionate twisted business

I'm taken aback by my degree of stupidity

crowded thoughts added to the humidity

my head a flaming torch, so I cried tears of acidity

and when it rained, I'd think God cried with me

literally

You ask, what got me in such humility?

such things cannot be answered in simplicity

just know, I used to love HER

but this is said so commonly

love is like roulette

if you don't win the cash

you get payed with reality checks

and I hiss this

as I miss Mrs

Marie-ness

at Cypress

the happiness

that was all lost at Christmas

you were the light to my abyss-ness

you were the hidden piece of the puzzle

the hidden piece of my completeness

and you were the lifeguard

as my heart

drowned

deep

into my

mystifying passionate twisted business

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3 ANSWERS


  1. it was better thena anything i could ever do


  2. sounds cool kind of like a rap

  3. hot stuff man

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