What do you think of my poem?????

Question

Please tell me what you think! I wrote it a long time ago and I not sure if I like it or not anymore but I would like to know what you think!

Behind what you see

I sit here acting so happy

You would never know

I sit here and smiles

You would never know that I wanted to cry

I hid the feeling that I feel so well

That you will never now

That I am falling apart inside

Just thinking of what to say

So you I will not find out what I feel

So you will not feel bad for me

My heart is racing

So fast is cant breath

I should know that breath is hard by now

Just the feeling for almost dying is all I can take

I refuse to feel that pain

To want to cry

To want to die

Thanks for reading!!

Answer 1

It contradicts itself a few times and sort of doesn't make any sense. It's definitly not unique (anyone will agree with that). But keep up the poetry :-)

Regards,

The Answers

Answer 2

I think it needs something to it,

a rhyme scheme,

a rhythm

something,

but I think your poetry has emotional potential.

Not trying to be mean of course, but constructive criticism(:

Answer 3

GREAT!!

publish it.

Don't worry about it not rhyming. That's called Free Verse...those kinds of poems dont have to rhyme.

A Celebration Of Young Poets has a website. look them up!. (if you are young haha idk)

You can get a copy of the book, and your name will be in an index! xD

Much luck if you do decide to publish it!!

Answer 4

truly honestly, i like it, but it sounds ALOT like most other poems, therefore making it somewhat typical.  I'm referring to the subject matter.  Its overdone that people say they act so happy but inside they are falling apart on the inside.  This is just an opinion. Feel free to ignore it if you like because it looks like you've got some very positive feedback from other users, and i'm sure you've got alot of potential, too.

Answer 5

Awwww, Jessica,

don't redo it, just write a new one that is up lifting.

One that make us feel joyful that you have found

the answer to happiness.

You can do it. O.K.?

Answer 6

wow i like this its really good

Answer 7

the end is really good... you should change the beginning a little bit. but other than that it's good

Answer 8

Hmm...

Like someone else said, the ending was good.

The beginning could be changed a bit...perhaps shorten the phrasing to make things balance more.

But otherwise, it's fairly well written.

Answer 9

its kinda sad but its good. i would have loved it back when i was 16 (im 19 now)