Question:

What do you think of my poems?

by  |  earlier

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Have you ever wanted to bring a gun to your head

Have blood gushing out all over your bed.

Have you ever just wanted to take too many pills

Just enough so you know it kills

Have you wanted to walk in to burning fire

Watch the flames destroy all your attire

Have you ever wished to hang yourself on a tree

So dieing could really be a guarantee

Have you wanted your brakes to stall

So your car would go crashing into a wall.

Have you ever really wanted to cut your veins

So there was so much blood it stains.

What many don’t see is there is some in pain

People take it like it’s a game

But no one knows how they really feel

They talk about it, like it’s no big deal

There’s people out there wanting just this

Because there mom died, or got denied there first kiss

People out there really want to die

But why does no one ever care why

Cant you see your best friend might really be sad

Having a much worst life then you ever had

Don’t deny what you know is true

Or you could end up being a victim of suicide too

--------------------------------------...

Why do we sleep during the night

The darkness is blinding, putting children in fright

Why do only some die before there time

In fires, earthquakes, and that one fatal crime

Why do we torture the weak, but praise the strong

When they are the ones causing what’s wrong.

Why do we look at the bad but never the good

Being nice to that girl like no one would.

Why do we use violence to solve all are mistakes

With guns, knives, and bones to break.

Why do we care for those who could care less

When they are the ones tearing up success

Why do we risk all we have worked for

To be richer then ever before

Why, do we always say goodbye

To the ones that never can give a reply

--------------------------------------...

A solider is fatally shot the ground

A cry of hurt is his very last sound

His dad kicked him as hard as he could

He wanted his family to work like it should

A little girl is pushed off her very first bike

Her knee breaking with one simple strike

A man his deliberately punched in the jaw

His best friends face was the last he saw

A simple middle school fight lead to her death

Her boyfriend was fault of her very last breath

He just wanted his little angel to stop crying

He didn’t know shaking her lead to her dieing

She hit him for being the cause of the lies

Ignoring the bleeding, bruises, and cries

He shot the gun without thinking ahead

Knowing he’s the reason his brothers dead

Violence just leads to more hurt and pain

It’s like a cycle but there’s nothing to gain

But revenge doesn’t solve one little thing

Sooner or later you will feel the sting

Why don’t we all just live in peace

Causing all the guns and knives to decrease

And cant you all see your in danger to

Violence is finally here, and we all know its true

---------------------------------

Dear god can you hear are cries from below

Don’t you see this is not all for show

People are dieing from lack of food

Begging for something to eat from the crude

Dear god cant you hear are prayers up there

All this pain and suffering is surely not fair

Are closet friends are dieing from one disease

Cure them now I beg of you, please

Dear god cant you see all the people in fear

Yelling at the sky hoping you will hear

All they want is someone to love

Raising there voices to the sky above

Dear god wont you listen to are pleas

All we want is for the pain to seize

People dieing from being in the wrong places

Hoping you will see the pain in there faces

God all we want is for you to see

That you can make this go away, you’re the key

And god were hoping you can hear are prayers

Hoping you’re the one that truly cares

--------------------------------------...

Hello I am Danielle

I am only fourteen and have been writing for awhile

My poems are in order from oldest to most recent

And they generally talk about whats going on in the world

Tell what you think. Please and thank you.

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17 ANSWERS


  1. have you thought about counseling? It may help


  2. cat says elf needs food badly

  3. BAD

  4. Wow their really good!

    very intense but like aware of whats going on in life!

    =]

  5. I think it's pretty good. But kinda depressing.  

  6. What many don’t see is there is some in pain... this doesnt make sence in the first poem.

    it is pretty ... i guess morbid but hey, each to their own. i do like them... you should submit them to poetry.com

    And god were hoping you can hear are prayers... this should also say And god were hoping you can hear OUR prayers

    good luck with your writing!!!

  7. It's a little gloomy.

    How about something about dolphins and kittens and sunsets and whatnot?  

    .

  8. Best poem ever written.  

  9. Whoa! You just stole my heart. Your poetry is just so intense. For a moment I forgot about everyone and everything. I can't get over how awesome your poems are. I wish I had your talent. I mean I'm having a hard time trying to word out my thoughts. You just blew my mind with all your words.


  10. wow that was pretty good but the first one was kind of scary

  11. Pretty intense for a 14 year old but in saying that it shows good awareness to the outside world at such a young age!

    Keep writing!!!

  12. Wow they are really good, very sad, great job though  

  13. oh. well. They are really good... and I don't mean to be rude, but... kinda depressing. You capture whats going on well... but outside all of the pain there is also happiness, even in the most unlikely places.

    Great writing though, I've tried to write like that and have never been able to.

    Amazing, good work!

  14. i have no words your work is fabulous its wow it feels like a true gift from God no offense, you should seriously publish your work even if its only in a small magazine. awesome!!  your poems are very deep and truthful, just the simple truth what this world needs but its hiding from. God bless you !!

  15. Wow!!! I would say that is pretty intense for a 14 year old, but for some reason, I always seem to see the teens with the deeper meaning poems. I mean don't get me wrong there are some good adults who are poets, but with teens, they speak the truth. They speak what lies in the real world around them. They don't really care what people think, but they still show a great respect for those who they are representing in the poem. Your poems are deep and meaningful. Great job. They showed a good amount of emotions. I loved how they seemed to just flow together even if they were different poems through out the years. One thing I caught a lot is spelling. You need to watch for spelling mistakes because sometimes they actually spell different words and throw people off, but over all, these poems were awesome!!!

  16. That makes me really depressed!

  17. Good and creative.

    I hope you dont just steal other peoples work.

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