What do you think of my poetry honest answers needed

Question

In life all most people want , is to have happiness their health and finacial security,

but most of us get it wrong, when all we had looked for was wealth. M oney can bring you joy, of course it can! but be sure that along with joy comes sadness, followed by pain ,loss and regret.

You see people with money can sometimes forget,

that it is not money that is evil but the people who hold it. so decide in your own time and space whats more important in life and to our exsistance, the love of money or the love we have for eachother,

Love thy friend as thy brother , make no mistakes , so theres no confusion , show people you love them , don't show an illussion.

In spiritualism mishaps are made , but god will always love us , theres no need to be afraid.

So hold your hands on your hearts and show love in the future,

because all we need is peace and understanding ,

for to our kids , we are the tutor.

Answer 1

Wonderful words and it shows what a kind and generous heart you have.  Someone said its full of wisdom and that is very true, very inspiring indeed.

As for being a form of poetry that it is but not a structured one.  It's very much freestyle from my personal point of view.  I am not sure where you want to head with this, but its a unique style and will confuse a lot of people who aren't too familiar with unstructured poetry.  Most will call it an inspirational writing.

I would suggest reading more poetry and writing more to find a style that is yours.

Best Wishes

Answer 2

its alright

nothing special

answer mine:

http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 3

Marie K , to be honest w/ U , I don't see it poetry.It's prose.U 'v tackled a topic which seems to be an answer to a lasting question, which is better money or (some thing else) happiness, health etc.

I see that U made a good effort to give an honest answer, in which Ur opinion was loud and clear.The spiritual part,

"but God always loves us there is no need to be afraid"

was a beautifully brought in to conclude Ur argument, for Ur humane opinion needed a spiritual backup.The 3 last lines drew the moral of Ur argument, and showed Ur concern of future generations,and remind   the adults ( especially parents) of their obligations, and what they should do (behave), for they R the idol of their kids

Why it is not poetry? because U haven't used poetry devices, or followed a poetic form.Its a good prose though, I like it.Keep on writing and good luck.

Answer 4

Reads more like prose, so you need to write short lines. Read good poems on here, there are quite a number. For clarity and good imagery you could write about your pets, Nature, soul-mate, etc someone or something you are familiar with. That's my frank comments.  You said you wanted honest answers.

Answer 5

I find you need more images and figures of style to give your poem some life. Right now it just sounds like someone's advice with rhymes here and there.

You talk about mistaking money for happiness, loving your friends, being authentic and loving God. There's enough subject matter in these topics to make many poems.

I also usually prefer poems written in verse, but that's a matter of taste.

Answer 6

im not too keen, no my cup of tea

Answer 7

very beautiful inspiring  poem full of wisdom

Answer 8

I think its pap to be honest

Answer 9

Its more of a self help paragraph than a poem. But it still speaks volumes to your beliefs. Perhaps read more professional poetry and you will get the format down better, and expand your vocabulary. Keep writing. Stay strong