What do you think of my skit?

Question

Prologue

Frances Russell: (standing over a grave) It’s been a while hasn’t it, Martha? (hears a sound and turns around to see Hugh Dungannon)

Hugh Dungannon: We all grieve for the death of your wife… God will bless you, Frances.

Russell: Ironic words coming from an ex-bishop.

Dungannon: Once a holy man, always a holy man.

Act 1, Scene 1

Narrator: Welcome to Gas City, a place that’s literally h**l on earth. Here, crime runs amok and the power of the city is in the hands of a few, but distinct mob bosses. The citizens themselves are like toys, pawns in a game played by high officials….

Chief Russell: (picking up the ringing phone) Hello? Frances Russell here (said in a somewhat sleepy tone)

Anthony Zeno: Did you hear, Russell? (urgency was deeply rooted in his voice)

Russell: What?! (irritation creeps in)

Zeno: The council wants you dead, Russell, especially after you pulled that stunt! What happened to you?! You used to be the perfect cop…

Russell: (interrupting) In the eyes

Answer 1

I think uninteresting about covers it.

Answer 2

Didn't bother reading it all.

Not attention grabbing, unoriginal ideas. And you need to stop writing from an actors perspective (ie all the indications of tone of voice etc, that's for the actor to decide)

Answer 3

You have certainly taken a lot of pains to put up this playlet. I t will probably be even agood piece for reading together, with different people reding different parts. However as a play that interests the public, it needs to be a genuine skit, ie. humorous. Humour is the sauce of life. Well let it be a drama of life's true emotions packed as one in a single theme.

Why is Shakespeare great ? Because every of his character, right from the hero, to the fool, and a servant to nurse, a Falstaff are true to life, and express a relity.

I have seen good plays getting ruined because of the lack of enacting out properly, and a bad play standing well , because it has been staged well.

I repeat your play is good , what it needs is a really a jump into the ocean of characters.