What do you think of my sonnet?

Question

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Sonnet II

His eyes were h**l, his gaze their fiery blade

That stabbed a living soul, and burned its heart

For his own heart, dark under Satan’s shade

Had long forgotten its innocent start

Vengeful devil, summit of all evil

The rueful sky heard your summon to war

Your will destroyed, your malice did revel

On mounds of gold that hid a sky of star

You were unwary of god’s wrathful eye

Whose will did blast the clouds and split the ground

And then your bane was thundered from the sky

Oh! Forgive us lord! What furious sound!

And where, once a tyrannous crown did gleam

Naught remained, save a memory too dim

***

Answer 1

This is wonderful - Thank you

Answer 2

It's really good!

Answer 3

It's okay...not the theme one might expect for a sonnet, but it certainly fit the form.  Suggestions: "hid a sky of star" is too contrived...try, "that hid the morning star".  It's "God" when you're mentioning the almighty, not "god".  Add an "a" before "furious".  Your last rhyme pair, "gleam/dim" is a bit of a stretch...see if you can do better...and keep writing

Answer 4

Nice.. keep the good work up.Good luck.

Answer 5

"Hi!",

That was a wonderful constructed sonnet. With all lines consisting of 10 syllables.

WELL DONE!

Cheers : )