What do you think of my story?

Question

http://melzmar.wordpress.com/2008/08/13/scratches-in-my-mind/

Answer 1

well im reading it... and

im noticing that while im reading

it, im thinking... where the h**l is the point of the story?

i mean...

it didnt state the aspirations...

did you look up to your father?

wheres your father now?

i mean... give it just a tint of sparkle

to the story... your good, but not great.

keep working on it

Answer 2

Hmm a nice little short story.

I liked how the ending was going but then I didn't like how he just went with the money, I wish he could of went somewhere in between and choose the "third option".

Answer 3

this sounds really good are you going to write more?

Answer 4

It's amazing, dark, and beautiful. You can't just read it once and get it.

Answer 5

The history of your life is brave and sad.

I have lived the opposite without knowing the meaning of what I do.

I know now that being a good person is more difficult that being a no good or careless person... being good seems to be easy.. but discipline and being a good person is more difficult... so if you want a challenge.. go for it!