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What do you think of my writing piece?

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Plz nothing rude about my opinions, I just want criticism on the writing itself. Thx

An Invincible Country

George Washington, in his Farewell Address, wrote of two “pillars,” or foundations on which our country was built upon: religion and morality. He and many other men of that time believed that “Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports.”

The United States of America, beginning as the thirteen colonies, was established with many Christian and Bible standards and worldviews. This started with the Dissenters, the people who rebelled against the strict English church. The Dissenters consisted of two groups, the Puritans and the Separatists. The Puritans were at a lower level of rebellion than the Separatists, in a sense. They tried to purify the corruptions in the church and help it teach according to the scriptures. The Separatists, who had a highly significant role in American history, believed that the corruption and persecution was too severe to attempt to purify. The Separatists therefore withdrew from the church despite the risks which could involve violent persecution such as a burning at the stake or being beheaded. This group of people had a strong yearning to worship God freely instead of being forced to worship in ways that were not scriptural. This is where the first “pillar”, religion comes in. The Separatists, later renamed the Pilgrims, fought to have religious freedom no matter what the costs were. This is one of the reasons that religion was so vital to our country.

Morality was another “pillar” that President George Washington wrote of. The meaning of morality is: A doctrine or system of moral principles or conduct; the quality or condition of being right or wrong; Virtue. The pilgrims were showing morality by leaving the English church because it was the right thing to do. Today in our country, many people do not know wrong from right, so people are trying to change or make new laws to do things that the founding fathers didn’t believe in. It makes witnessing harder for Christians now that people are doing things like this. The founding fathers meant no harm when they decided to keep the church separate from the state. They wanted to have a free country where they could worship God freely and not run by the rules of the Church. They made this decision based on their experience back in England when they were forced to worship in a corrupt church. At the time, keeping the church separate was what they considered to be the right thing to do. Charles Carroll once wrote in a letter to James McHenry, “Without morals, a republic cannot subsist any length of time; they therefore who are decrying the Christian religion… are undermining the solid foundation of morals, the best security for the duration of the governments.” This means that without Christian morals, the republic cannot exist for a long time, therefore weakening the security of a free government.

Today, America is not living by many Christian morals as in the past, so politics are getting out of hand. People don’t know what is right and what is wrong, so they do things that feel good. The pilgrims didn’t sail on the mayflower because it felt good. It felt far from it. They came to, and established our country because it was what they believed to be the right thing to do. Now, people are taking advantage of America by doing things that aren’t right. I, being a Christian, believe that America should refer back to the foundations that these people began our country of the United States of America with.

“The great pillars of all government and of social life [are] virtue, morality, and religion. This is the armor….and this alone, that renders us invincible.”

- Patrick Henry

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2 ANSWERS


  1. Your paragraphs run too long. They should be chopped into smaller paragraphs.

    I've never liked conjuctions in formal writing. "Aren't" should be written out as "are not" etc.

    The quote at the end seems to just hang there. Should be used earlier and discussed.


  2. The United States of America, ..., WERE established with a Christian worldview based upon biblical standards.

    ...the Dissenters, WHICH WERE the people who...

    the corruption and persecution WERE too severe to...

    (Go through and refresh on your verb tense and usage. It has been a LONG summer.)

    You have a great writing style. With the help of your English teacher I see a future journalist in the making. Keep at it!

      

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