What do you think of part of my story opening?

Question

Hey. I'm currently writing a story and this link will take you to a forum where I've posted a bit of my opening, I just wanted to know your thoughts. I welcome criticism as I'm only 16 and I want to get better. Thanks in advance :)

http://www.newbie-writers.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=748

Answer 1

hey....i think itz pretty gud....way 2 go man.....

Answer 2

I like it, personally. The only thing I take issue with is the overuse of rhetorical questions. I like the descriptiveness of your work though, it's rather good. Overall, a very good first chapter!

Answer 3

sounding quite interesting, carrying on. youre doing gd

Answer 4

Sorry,My brain is too tired enough to read.

I'll read it later though

Answer 5

I'm a young writer myself and I have to say that is really awesome! Well done, you are very talented, keep writing.

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