What do you think of pot luck weddings?

Question

I am invited to one this summer and my sister in law is having one next year. I just wondered your thoughts on this. The one I am invited to is a old friend of my in laws.

Answer 1

I have never heard of this and I think it is weird. Untraditional, I'm not sure I like it...

Answer 2

I've been to them before.  Actually, when you think about the expense of a wedding, it makes sense.

Answer 3

i'm not quite sure i understand the point. do you have a potluck to INSTEAD of having one provider of food (like a caterer)? because that seems to me like the couple or whoever is paying is trying to avoid some of the costs associated with receptions. in doing so, they are asking the guests to buy enough ingrediants to double or triple a normally affordable recipe. and what about the particular dish...because salads are infinitely cheaper to assemble than, say, baby-back ribs or a dozen cheesecakes. cooking for large groups of people isn't cheap. would guests still need to bring gifts?

potlucks, to me, are more informal....like thanksgiving or a summer BBQ. whereas weddings are too much of a big to-do to be worrying about what everyone is bringing.

"we request the honor of your presence at the marriage of our daughter..........also, bring that roast chicken recipe that you made once and was really tasty."

no, sadly, it just doesn't work.

Answer 4

In my own opinion it is tacky. Why invite someone to a wedding but inform them they must bring their own dinner. Just my opinion...

Answer 5

i answered the other question about this in great detail that is just above this one.

Answer 6

I've never been to one to be honest but I think that there is a real snobbery about weddings, some people cannot afford the big wedding but that does not mean they have no right to get married just because they cannot afford the traditional wedding.  I too would worry as you do not know where the food has come from, but I guess if you ask people you trust then it would work out OK.

Answer 7

It's all good... but I'd guess that the couple either loves their families cooking, or doesn't have the funds to provide the meal.

Either way, whatever the Bride and Groom choose that is right for them, is always the right call.

Answer 8

I think its a way to get together with everyone when the bride and groom are on a limited budget. I'm sure that they're fun though. I'm sure it will be nice!

Have fun!

Answer 9

I think it's tacky and even more important than that, as you point out, food poisoning.

Answer 10

I can not believe the snobbery on here.  Look, not everyone can afford to throw a party for several thousand dollars.  And perhaps they don't need gifts... the gift would be everyone pitching in what they can for the potluck.  And it's not like ANYONE has to provide two or three times whatever amount.  You would bring an equivalent to what your family would eat... DUH.  And I am sure that they would have possibly chosen a venue that has a refrigerator and stove...  and there are these GREAT inventions called coolers... and crock pots.  And if you are THAT worried about food poisoning, tuck away a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for yourself.

So just go and have fun.  There is no rule that every wedding reception has to include a "free" meal, formal attire, a DJ and take home favors.

Answer 11

Tacky

Answer 12

Not my style. Driving 45 minutes with a casserole in my backseat that I won't get to eat for another two hours is not necessarily appealing.

Answer 13

i think that if its food in leiu of a gift then its a great idea, saves them money, not so formal and gets people together!

Answer 14

Yeah, I don't know if I would trust all the other dishes as a guest. I wouldn't want to eat food from complete strangers. Not to mention that most foods have to be either served hot or cold and instead you will get room temperature on all of them. I'm not a great cook so I would have to buy something, which in my opinion would have to be my gift.

Answer 15

i've only seen them mentioned on y/a ... i've never actually heard of someone doing one.... i personally would not do one... for a regular party or something, sure... but for a wedding.... i think that's a bigger deal and the host should be providing food and drinks for the guests... i'm all for nixing traditions but i think providing for guests is one of the ones that should be kept even if it is more informal... if i was doing something really laid back maybe i could provide the bulk of items and tell guests if they want to bring an extra to go ahead.... but for the whole wedding to be potluck i'd worry too much about having enough!

Answer 16

Although it is uncommon, I am not totally against the idea. I would still go to a friend`s wedding if I was asked to bring a dish.

It always depends if its a 50 people reception or 200... i wouldn't expect that for 200! Also, if the people are close family, why not? Costs less!

I know that if I do get remarried, my family would more than likely want me to do this. My family is super close, and are used to things like this so...

Answer 17

ok...So....I am expected to spend money on making a dish for 100 people, and give a monetary gift of $100.  Thats too much work for me.

Answer 18

I think it's tacky and not because I'm a snob either.  If you can't afford to have a big wedding THEN DON'T! Invite just your immediate family and a close friends and go eat chinease food or something.  My friends had a $5.00 a plate chinease food wedding.  Everyone enjoyed it.  It's so stupid to expect people to bring their own food to celebrate your wedding.  Dress up in your best clothes and BYOF? Get married at the justice of the peace and just have a cake and juice or wine reception after.  You don't NEED to have a dinner.  OR have a late wedding (like 7pm) and a midnight pizza buffet.