What do you think of putting a 'No drop-ins' sign on the front door?

Question

A friend of mine lives just off a route that runs into town. Members of her husband's large family are ALWAYS dropping in on their way in or out. I have been there when people drop in while the family is at the table and just sit there through dinner. I have observed some ask for a cocktail when they have not been invited. As an overnight guest, I have seen some drop in at breakfast time, paper coffee cup in hand. Some drop in two or three times a day. My friend never can count on privacy, so she whipped up a sign for the front door that reads "No Drop-ins. Respect our privacy, Please." She's trying it out today. Has anyone got a better suggestion? Anyone had the same problem? Don't bother advising her to 'talk' to these people. It has been tried. And they just don't take a hint, even one that would clobber a sensible person over the head.

Answer 1

Well if she has already tried talking to them and it didn't work then I don't see anything wrong with the sign. If it were me i would just stop answering the door. But I think the sign will work.

Answer 2

These people probably won't believe that they are regarded as DROP-INS.   They probably will think the sign refers to door to door hawkers or strangers asking for directions.   Why does she answer the door?    She could put a DO NOT DISTURB  sign from a motel, on the door handle.    She could get a camera and have a doorbell that  you can speak through, to negotiate visitors.

Answer 3

Wow, what gall those people have! That is just plain rude to drop in unannounced. I hope the sign works for her, but she must also lock the door and not answer it when they drop by without an invitation.

Answer 4

It sounds to me like your friend just refuses to enforce her own boundaries.  If someone shows up at the door uninvited, you simply say to them, "I'm sorry, we really don't have time for visitors right now.  Please call next time you're in the area and we'll have drinks."  Then shut the door.  You don't have to let people into the house just because they knock on the door.

I don't really think the sign is going to work, since she has already talked to them and they ignored her...it's even easier to ignore a sign.  She has to look them in the face and be firm if she expects them to listen.

Answer 5

If she already talked to them, and they don't listen, the sign sounds great.  Also tell her to change the lock to her door if these visitors have keys.  That way they don't just barge in if she doesn't answer the door.  I'm sure they will think she is rude and all that, but tough.  She's not the neighborhood family rest stop.  I'm hoping her husband is giving her his support 100% on this matter too.

Answer 6

I agree with Jul and would only add...and be charging you as such. and provide a list of "service" charges.

Answer 7

Your friend has tried politely asking people not to drop in unexpectedly, and that didn't work. So I think a sign on the front door is fine. However, if her relatives didn't get the hint from thier talk, they will probably take the sign as a joke, and just ignore it.

Answer 8

Has the talking consisted entirely of "hints"?  If so, your friend needs to stop hinting and be explicit:  "We are not at home to visitors (or at home to visitors during certain hours only) unless they call in advance."  The sign, if she insists on using it, will serve as confirmation of that warning.

Answer 9

I say put the sign up and don't answer the door. Good luck to your friend.

Answer 10

Perhaps if she didn't let them in the house, they would get the hint.  I told my entire family to call first or I would not let them in.  Well, my Mom dropped by one day (without calling) and I did not let her in.  I did sit with her for a few minutes on the porch and I could tell she was shocked I wasn't letting her in - but she did learn and never tried it again!

Answer 11

It's worth a try, but if they can't "get it", they probably can't read, either.

Answer 12

It sounds as though they are taking advantage. It's one thing if they are stopping as a convenience for a good night rest and it is planned ahead of time and agreed upon by both parties, but to just drop in and EXPECT amenities is completely different. I think the signs is a little tacky though and will not solve the problem, in turn it will just created tension and gossip which will lead to family drama as she isn't really soling the prob, she's just avoiding the necessary confrontation.

What she needs to do is first ask her husband to talk to them. They may take it better coming from him. If that doesn't work, she should send out an email to all them in a kind tone asking them to call at least a day before they plan on coming. The most important move she should make is to not encourage it. Meaning, do not give them coffee, food, etc. They will of course freak out which will give her the opportunity to say "Look, Ive tried talking to you guys and it hasn't been effective. I am not okay with people constantly coming through. I am a private person and enjoy my days without constant unannounced visitors. I love you all as you are my family, but I feel as though you are not family anymore...and you are bed and breakfest inn guests. If that's want you want then that's how I will start treating you....etc etc"

Answer 13

We had the same problem:

And we have a wall around our property!!  One lady that lives down the street will call both cell phones, the home phone and then come up and scream my name (her boyfriend is in Iraq) as she's lonely.....

SOLUTION:

Go to Home Depot, Lowe's, or Smart & Final.   Get a sign that businesses use that state:

SORRY, WE'RE CLOSED   and place it in a very visible window, where it can be seen from the approach to the house.

This tactic has worked:  not ONE violator since the sign went up.  End of story, and they all lived happily everafter........

Christopher