What do you think of sleeping with your babies? SPOILING?

Question

What do you think of letting your babies sleep with you? Are you afraid you will roll over on them? My mother let me sleep with her until I was to big. My mom and my dad both said that they never rolled over on me. They said it's really different for them than a stuffed animal..You know the tests where they give a mother a stuffed animal to see if she would roll on it..or a doll..They say that's proof that it's not safe to sleep with a baby. For my parents, they said it was sooo much different because babies are alive and they have a spirit and you know there there..Do you agree? I think it's not spoiling them to let them sleep with you. I think it's a great way to bond with your parents. I stopped sleeping with them when I wanted my own room. I still sleep with my mom sometimes. It bonded me with her. It didn't spoil me, it didn't make me a brat. They never rolled over on me, they never kicked me off the bed..LOL my mom even said I cried until she let me sleep with her. They were comfortable with me there and they knew I was there..They were alert. Are you alert with your children when they sleep with you?

Answer 1

I don't believe that co-sleeping is for everyone. It can be very dangerous for heavy sleepers or for someone who takes medication that makes them drowsy or less alert. And some people just don't have the ability to sleep with their baby safely. However, I do co-sleep with my 20 month old and 4 yo. Although, they still have their own rooms and beds so if I feel like I need the bed with just my husband they have their own bed to go to (it's rare, but the other beds are there). I definitely do not think that it's spoiling a baby to let them sleep with you.

I do know someone who rolled over and suffocated their child. It was so sad. I do believe that the main reason it happened was because the man was deaf.

Answer 2

I don't sleep with my children.  I never have slept with my children except on special occasions (we have what we call "slumber party" nights where I have one of my kids at a time for a special evening for some extra quality time.  My kids have slept on their own since day one.  

Answer 3

I have never co-slept with my son. He is 19 mths. If he was in our room he was in his bassinet. I never wanted to take the chance of anything happening while we slept. Like smothering, falling off the bed..etc.

We always put him in his crib and turned on the monitor. The slightest noise and we were up. We just never chose to. I figure its just up the parents if they chose to do so. It's their baby.

Answer 4

My twins slept with us for almost a year and I don't think it spoiled them as much as it spoiled ME!

I enjoyed not having to get out of bed or get up at all at night except to prepare bottles, but even so my husband did that job all the time at night.

I never worried about rolling on them because for the majority of the time they slept in a co-sleeper or a crib that was attached to the bed in a sidecar arrangement.  That gave them their own space and gave me my own space, but I never had to get out of bed.

They sleep in cribs now, no problem most of the time.  They won't sleep in bed with us anymore even when we try.  They just won't do it.

So long story short, I think it's up to the parents.  If the parents want to do it, do it!  It didn't hurt my kids any and it made me get better sleep which made me a better mom.

Answer 5

I am a co-sleeper and i love it.  Everyone gives me c**p, but its great for me and my baby.  I am never afraid of rolling over on him because just as i know where the edge of the bed is, i know where my son is.  Your motherly instincts are so much stronger than you believe.  As long as you haven't drank or taken pills to make you tired, you won't roll over on your baby.  

I think its a lovely, perfectly normal thing and it also reduces the risk of SIDS.  You are the mother and you know what is best for your baby.

Answer 6

I think it's a natural thing for parents to sleep with their babies.  I never rolled on my son - new mothers never really sleep deeply anyway. However, I think that when the parents want to reclaim their own bed they need to be firm about it because the parents need alone time also, for the benefit of the marriage and the entire family.

Answer 7

I sleep with my baby...and wouldn't do it any different...she gets sleeps and so do I...and I nurse and it makes that a whole lot easier too....I like to have my baby close to me too it is so nice to see them so peacefull

Answer 8

My son sleeps with me and my husband and we have never rolled on him. I am constantly aware that he is there, and do not feel that I'm putting him in any danger. I don't think that it has spoiled my son, but I'm sure it will be difficult trying to put him in his own bed.

Answer 9

Rollovers just don't happen when the parents are alert and conscientious.  They happen when parents are drugged, very obese, drunk, sleeping on the sofa, etc.

I think most of us start sleeping with our babies when we are breastfeeding.  It's so much easier to just roll over and plug baby in.  That way, you don't even have to wake up.  The babies stay in bed long after being weaned because it's nice there.  My kids love to come into my bed.  Are they spoiled?  If by spoiled you mean they expect me to respond to their needs, then yes, they're spoiled.  They respect others' needs as well.  I don't think that my kids are spoiled, but I respect them and they respect me.

I intend to sleep with my new baby too, as soon as he's born.

To those concerned about s*x:  First of all, the question is being asked by a young kid.  No, she's not thinking about s*x, she's thinking about what she's asking and no more.  Second, why do so many of you believe that s*x can only happen at bedtime in the bedroom?  IF that's how you feel , then cosleep part time and have s*x when baby is in his own bed or bedroom.  Or, just have s*x somewhere else.  Not a big deal.  And why would a baby cry all night?  That's irresponsible no matter what sleeping arrangement you use.

Answer 10

I thought I'd never co-sleep with my baby because he naturally(or so I thought) belonged in his bassinet. That first night, though, was an eye opening experience. I was just going to snuggle with him until he calmed down and he fell asleep so quickly. From that night we co-slept for the next month or so and it was an absolutely wonderful experience. We had no "almost accidents" or problems. He slept in the middle between my husband and I with my arm around him. I can't say I always slept peacefully because I did wake when he moved or made a sound but it was a great experience and I wouldn't trade it.

Answer 11

I co-sleep with my son, and have since the day he was born 8 months ago. I have his crib with the drop rail removed pushed up against my side of the bed, so he won't fall off the bed at night and it gives us a bit more room to sleep. I find it so easy to do night time nursing that I don't remember them in the morning. I know I nurse at night because I wake up with my b***s out, lol. I don't feel that it's unsafe to co-sleep. I don't fear rolling on to my son, the way I see it I don't roll onto my husband or off the bed because I know it's there. I don't feel like I'm spoiling him, others see it that way but pfft to them. He sleeps better, I sleep better, my husband sleeps better and we're happy and healthy, that's all that matters.

Answer 12

I personally wouldn't worry about rolling on them, I've accidently fell asleep with my daughter on my chest while burping her after feedings and haven't had an issue what-so-ever, but sleeping with my daughter isn't the way I plan on doing things. I don't see anything wrong with it if that's what the family wants, but it isn't right for my family. My sister has co-slept since day one and she's still doing it (he's 20 months) she loves it, and they're both content. To each their own, everything can be controversial when it comes to raising children, but as long as they are loved I don't think one way or the other hurts too much.

Answer 13

I agree with you 100%.  I slept with my daughter.  I never rolled onto her.  I don't think I ever even moved when I slept with her.  I think I was hyper alert in my sleep as to where my daughter was.  It was so easy to do night time feeds.  She would wake up, I would plug in my boob and we would all go back to sleep.  It is most definately not spoiling them.  There are also some studies that suggest that sleeping with your child actually reduced the risk of SIDS because their breathing syncs up with yours and they breathe better.  Snooze on co-sleepers!

Answer 14

My daughter sleeps with me sometimes, i love it! She's 6.5mths and i can actually cuddle her now that shes a bit bigger. I'm always aware she's there!

Answer 15

I have a 8 week old son right now. He was sleeping with my his first 6 weeks home. That's the only way he'd sleep. And i never rolled over on him. I was more nervous about my blanket covering his face. Which also never happened, thankfully. But after 6 weeks, he prefered to be in his bassinet and he's really good at night! I don't think it's a bad idea as long as the child will take naps during the day on his/her own. That way it won't be so hard on them when you decide to put them into their own bed. =]  

Answer 16

both of our girls sleep with us. dd1 is 2yrs and dd2 is 3months. we never even bought a crib. hubby and i sleep in a king size bed. we have a queen size bed sandwiched between our bed and the wall. i go back and forth between beds as needed to nurse one or both of the girls. also, we have an Amby Baby Hammock, which is used for dd2 for naps or when i'm not in the room.

Answer 17

I nap sometimes with our daughter (who is 5 months old). This is what I do: I lay in the bed towards the side and then turn her so that her feet are touching my ribs (we look like we're making almost a t-shape). Her little feet kick at me to remind me she's there, and if I did roll over it would be on her feet so she'd let me know about it. We have a king sized bed though which has lots of room so she can't roll off. Plus if her feet ever leave my ribs, I always wake up. Like someone else said, parents usually sleep lightly with their babies in the bed too.

Answer 18

I don't think it's spoiling a child or bad for them to let them sleep with you.  It can be dangerous - people have rolled on their children in their sleep.  My grandfather rolled over on his younger brother as a young child and accidentally smothered him.  It was sad.  It was also the result of having large families in rural Kentucky; too many kids, not enough beds.

In any case, for me I never let the kiddos co-sleep unless they were sick.  I kept them in a bassinet until they were able to sleep through the night fairly consistently (under 3mo for all my bugs), and then into their own rooms they went.

To be frank about it, the biggest thing for me was my marriage.  If I had to find a new place to get busy every time hubby (or I for that matter) was in the mood, we would probably never have the opportunity to make another baby again because I would be Too Tired!  So, for the sake of marital unity - and this includes the well-being of my child because divorce is NOT great for kids either - we never did the co-sleep thing unless a kiddo was sick and we couldn't stand the distance.  That actually only happened twice, once when kiddo # 1 had hand foot and mouth and was miserable with high fevers and once when kiddo # 3 had RSV and we were worried about his breathing.

Even with nightmares, we would let them drift off with us, and then put them back in their own beds.  They rarely woke up, and when they did, we would lay with them for a minute and they'd be back to dreamland.  They have always been independent about sleep and never had problems spending the night with other kids or with grandma.  My kids are all good sleepers.  They might have been good sleepers had we co-slept, I guess, but I have the feeling mommy and daddy would have been deprived in other ways that made them less happy people, so...!

I guess it's just a style choice.  I don't think many 18-year olds have ever stayed home from college because they were afraid to sleep without mom and dad, so I guess it all works out for everyone in the end.

Answer 19

My son sleeps in bed with me every night. I have never rolled over on him. I wake when he makes the slightest stir and I am normally a heavy sleeper. I am sure I'd roll over on a stuffed animal too....... a stuffed animal is NOT my child. There is a huge difference.

I'd also like to mention that my husband is typically a wild sleeper and has NEVER rolled on or so much as touched my son while sleeping.

Answer 20

You also have to worry about the child falling off the bed... Our bed is put on the floor. We don't have our son with us every night. And we also start him out in his crib, but if he wakes and doesn't go back to sleep on his own we bring him into our bed and I usually nurse him until he falls asleep. Neither of us have rolled onto him.  

Answer 21

This is a very personal decision. I personally think babies should be in room if not in bed with parents at least for a few months after birth. I have co-slept with my two and intend to co-sleep with the one I am currently carrying. I found that it helped me to rest better because nursing at night was a lot more convenient. I never once rolled over on my children and neither did my husband. If someone wants to try co-sleeping but is afraid of smothering they can get a co-sleeping bed and keep it right next to their bed, allowing for super easy access to baby as needed.

If you look at other countries in the world, ours is one of the only that encourages new parents to put baby in their own room. Most other places in our world sleep with their kiddos out of necessity (their houses aren't so big) but also because it helps the family bond as a whole.

Answer 22

My daughter is about 9 weeks old, and she sleeps in the bed with me when my her father isn't spending the night.  She sleeps so much better when she's next to me.  And I love the bonding experience.  Even when her father stays the night, the baby and I will take naps together on my bed during the day.  I'll treasure those times forever!  

I've NEVER rolled over on her, not even close.  I'm too aware of her presence.  And we sleep pretty close together.  I'm usually facing her.

EDIT: On the nights that her father spends the night, she sleeps in her bassinet (right next to the bed).  She doesn't sleep as long as she would have had she been in my bed though.

Answer 23

If you typically sleep in a queen bed but end up in a twin bed for one night- do you roll off the end of the bed?  No.  Because even though you're asleep- you still have an awareness of what's around you.

No healthy, nursing mother has ever rolled over on her baby and suffocated them (or there is no documentation of these incidences if they have occurred).

As for the spoiling part- spoiling is done with material posessions.  Not with love and affection.

Answer 24

do you ever want to have s*x again?  I do not agree with this practice.  I think kids should have thier own place to sleep, own beds.  I don't think its healthy for independence.  what about when the child wants to go to a sleep over, a friends house,?  It will have a negative impact on thier own sleeping habits of being able to sleep on thier own.  What if you and your husband need time alone, to talk , sleep , cuddle etc.  How can you do that with a child in the bed.

People will argue this all this time.  SOme agree, some don't.  

Its really up to you though.  

Answer 25

i have always wanted my son to sleep on his one because they sleep better and you also sleep better i don't think its a matter of them being safe cause my son has slept in bed with me plenty of times and i always know he is there and he is perfectly safe. i just get a better nights sleep if he is in his own bed.  

Answer 26

I think you can keep your baby in the same room, but not in your bed.

I know too many people who let their babies sleep with them, and they couldn't break them of it, as they got older. One of them even has a 10 year old still sleeping with her, instead of her own bed.

Personally I think some mothers don't want to part with their babies, but they pay the price later. You're not being a bad mother by letting your baby sleep in a crib instead. My first 2 turned out fine, because I did it that way. My youngest will too.  

Answer 27

my husband and i both wake up in the same spot we went to sleep in when out kids were in the bed with us

Answer 28

No, I don't believe the whole "they have a spirit we won't roll over on them" thing. Even the most loving of parents could roll over on her child. Besides, why would you want your child crying constantly right next to you?

Answer 29

my first child slept with me and i agree u just know they r there..the decision is totally up to u some people are for it and some are against it do what ever makes u feel comfortable...

Answer 30

I never slept with my baby only because I was afraid me or my hubby would roll over on her. I also hear horrer stories of babies somehow slipping inbetween the wall and bed. I cuddled with mine often at night,and I had a bed for her in my room for awhile. It was comforting knowing she is in the same room and safe. I don't think it has anything to do with spoiling, I would not use that as a reason not to sleep with the baby. Babies need to be cuddled with : )

Answer 31

I think parents who co-sleep are setting themselves up for trouble later on. You could end up with a 3 year old who is too afraid to sleep alone in her own room. The only time I slept in my parent's bed when I was a kid was if I was having a nightmare. The rest of the time, I slept in my own room. And I bonded with my mother very well...