What do you think of the beginning of my poem?

Question

Rain, O great glassy dome of cloud

Wash the sky; cleanse its pain and grief

And though you resemble crying eyes

Your soft swish brings me a relief

As it sprinkles on every branch and leaf

Answer 1

Quite good, and not very cliche.

I'd omit the "a" before "relief". Additionally the form you used is ABCBB and I have to admit that it sounds a bit odd. maybe you could add one or two more lines (Rhyming lines to even it out, e.g. ABBCBC)

Good luck

Answer 2

It is pretty interesting, thought i'd have to see the entire thing to really judge it. Good start!