What do you think of the older generations?

Question

I only had one child, and my mother in law, always asked me why doin't I have another, I never told her how difficult it was to be pregnant with only one child. We waited almost 5 years to concieve. Now my newly married sis is facing the same, hers seemed even worse than me, her husband is the only child from her inlaws, so she felt very pressure to hurry up and have one fast.. She was worried though of her conditions, her filopian tubes were block from previous STD. She had to go through multiple surgerys to get it fix, do you think it's right of the in laws to pressure us to have more biological children?

Answer 1

no. wait for natural conception. believe in nature.

Answer 2

of course it's "not right." But that doesn't have anything to do with it, unfortunately. I went through a lot of trouble to have my children and was very hurt when someone would make an insensitive comment but, I had been someone who made those kinds of comments myself before I knew personally what it was all about. People have no clue. I think you need to be uprfront about the situation if you want people to be more understanding. Talking to the in-laws with a few details might not be a bad idea unless that sounds really unappealing. They probably don't realize how hurtful they're being. And if they trruly do just want more biological children, I'm really sorry. Adoption is a wonderful way to form a family!

Answer 3

No, absolutely not.  How many children, biological or otherwise, that a couple has (or doesn't have) is their business and their business alone.  l also know someone who went through a very similar situation, and l found the in-laws reasoning to be completely selfish.  l know that's straight to the point, but l really believe it's nobody else's business!  Good luck to you and your sister!

Answer 4

No, it's not right. But, in my opinion, it's also not right to quietly take it. If my in laws were pressuring us unfairly, I would expect my husband, their son, to tell them to back off. If he didn't I would.

Answer 5

i respect their judgement a lot. so yea i think they do

Answer 6

i don't think the pressure is right. my husband and i have been married nearly a year. not even a full year, and his father just asked him recently so when are you and jess having kids, are you even trying yet. hello i haven't even been married a year and i'm only 25. not to mention his father knows i have nine kinds of health problems and carrying a child could really hurt me, possibly even cause my death. not to mention that my husband and i don't plan to have any kids till i'm 30, and here's another belly buster father in law we want to adopt!!!!!!! and he doesn't get it. so is she pregnant ??? so no i don't think they should pressure her and i don't think your inlaws should pressure you. butt out, you will have kids by what ever means when YOU are ready, not when the mother in law or father in law says you are.

Answer 7

I don't think that it is right.  Having children is a personal decision.  Although I do respect their input, it is not up to them how many children you have.  I have had trouble concieving, and the constant comments from people wondering when I was planning to have children have made it even more painful when I couldn't get pregnant.  I think that people should keep their questions to themselves, because maybe the woman can't have children/more children.  That is not something someone should have to share if they don't want to.

Also, I have friends and family that have been married for several years and their families keep on them about having children.  They just don't feel ready yet.  Again, that is thier choice.  Nobody should question it.  What if you have a baby just to quiet everyone down, and you aren't happy?  

Don't let it get to you.  People don't always realize how inconsiderate they are being.

Answer 8

The decision to be a parent should be a mutually positive one decided by both the potential parents together -- and no one else.

And anyone who caves to such requests or pressure, is only asking for a lifetime of insufferable pressure!  Adults stand up for themselves and keep their private lives private.  Immature, pseudo adults make everything in their life public and cave to others whims and biases.

In laws who would interfere with something so private as having children give all in laws a bad name!