Question:

What do you think of the poem below? (it's part of my epic)?

by  |  earlier

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Upon soaring wings and silvery feathers

The knight landed on the vast verdant plain

Sitting on a stout but elegant beast

He cautiously followed the unseen lane

His mount, a creature none had seen before

Strolled with pride, holding its head up high

An ingenious blend of many beasts

Unchallenged on land, a lord of the sky

Its large eagle-like beak was crooked and black

Its lion-like mane, so pure and white

Its cry louder than a sky full of gulls

With its sharp, amber eyes piercing bright

Not far from the narrow lane the knight found

An ancient oak with strange signs carved into its bark

And as he came close he heard a q***r sound

That swept out his feelings and left the world dark

The sound filled his ears and blurred his eye

He fell to the ground and went to sleep

Drowned in the hazy dreams of the evil tree

He traveled to caverns dark and deep

The shades were sacred for the sun was aflame

And those gleaming, golden acorns brought

To the oak with its boughs outspread

An eerie charm no man had ever fought

For the acorns were all enchanted fruits

The deed of the Govonian king

His wizards had cursed the trees to their roots

To charm every and earthly being

The knight bore a most perilous errand

Entrusted to him by his king

Adventures waiting in the distant land

A precious chance for him to bring

Immeasurable wealth and glory

For the kingdom beyond the woods…

(I need to finish this stanza…)

The light was fading and yet the knight

Was still asleep, between the huge oak-roots

The sun was drifting low, up came the night

And the boughs were drooping with cursed fruits

Suddenly in the dark, a shadow emerged

A snake-like branch, so heavy and stout

It silently crept and suddenly surged

Towards the sleeping body it sought

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4 ANSWERS


  1. Like something out of animated movie interesting poem! Cheers !!!


  2. That is bloody brilliant. I love it. You really have a rare talent, wow!

  3. Zowie!!!  When can I read the rest?

    I am virtually drooling for more.

  4. Upon soaring wings and silvery feathers

    The knight landed on the vast verdant plain

    Sitting upon a stout but elegant beast

    He cautiously followed the unseen lane

    His mount, a creature none had seen before

    Strolled with pride, head held high,

    An ingenious blend of many beasts

    Unchallenged on land, a lord of the sky

    Its large eagle beak was crooked and black

    Its wide lion mane, so pure and white

    Its cry more deafening than a sky full of gulls

    With its sharp, amber eyes piercing bright (piercing bright? You probably know more about poetry then me. How about piercing the night though? I don't know, actually keep yours.)

    Not far from the narrow lane the knight found

    An ancient oak with strange engravings carved into its bark

    And as he came close he heard a q***r sound

    That swept out his feelings and left the world dark

    The sound filled his ears and blurred his eyes

    He fell to the ground and fell to sleep

    Drowned in the hazy dreams of the cursed tree

    He traveled to caverns dark and deep

    The shades were sacred for the sun was aflame

    And those gleaming, golden acorns brought

    To the oak with its boughs outspread

    An eerie charm no man had ever fought

    For the acorns were enchanted seeds (I don't think acorns are fruit, you can change seeds)

    The deed of the Govonian king.

    His wizards had cursed the trees to their roots

    To charm every and earthly being

    The knight bore a most perilous errand

    Entrusted to him by his king

    Adventures waiting in the distant land

    A precious chance for him to bring

    Immeasurable wealth and glory

    For the kingdom beyond the woods

    Proudly the good night stood. (?!?!?)

    The light was fading and yet the knight

    Was still asleep, between the huge oak-roots

    The sun was drifting low, up came the night

    And the boughs were drooping with the tantalizing nuts. (sounds kind of informal, I know...)

    Suddenly from the dark, a shadow emerged

    A snake-like branch (I'm just wondering, do you mean branch-like snake? If so, branch-like doesn't seem to do it... maybe a cord? A rope? IDK???),heavy and strong (I don't think you should use stout again, having used it for the beast in the beginning)

    It silently crept and suddenly surged

    Towards the sleeping body it sought.

    Wow, that's amazing, I want to read more! :)

    And in case you get mad at me, I am only 10 I MIGHT BE WRONG!!!

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