What do you think of the stanzas below? (3 stanzas, 12 lines)?

Question

The men of past on iron struck

as they rightly shaped and wrought

forts they built with carven rock

for fame and glory the all fought

the knig's sword was rightly made

a lordly and a knightly blade

foes it will find, it's wrath un-kind

thus it's name will never fade

it slashed at mail, it pierced scale

it shone bright while foes went pale

it was fierce, it craved to pierce

when fighting swords, it shattered them frail

Answer 1

First stanza fourth line you mean "they all fought?"

Second stanza first line you mean "the king's sword?"

and third line you don't have to hyphenate unkind.

Overall I really like it...  no really I do, all edits aside it has great potential to be an excellent poem. There are some very expressive and visually stimulating lines.

The last line is the roughest spot and needs some more work. I wouldn't end this poem with the word frail for many reasons and the meter just doesn't work at all... it's too long.

Email if you like and I could suggest some alternative phrasings here and there, but I wouldn't do that unless you ask. It would be a little presumptuous.