What do you think of these poems,or w/e they are,,,?

Question

alright,,,so these may not be the best,,but tell me what you guys think,,

1)

I told you i loved you and you said "thats good"

you ripped out my heart and tore it apart

ok so your gone

its not the first time

theres a tear running down my cheek

as i slowly start to weep

then i relieze

i cant make you love me

i cant make your heart feel something it wont

so ill just close my eyes

then i wont see the love you dont feel when your holding me

2)

look me in the ******* eyes

i know you wanna see me cry

i could care less if you walk away

it wouldnt be the first time

i thought it was ironic how the person who makes you stronger is actually your weekness

but now im just so hurt and numb and now i have no weekness

i would have never thought that one person could build you up so high

just to knock you down,

make your life a perfect dream

then a living nightmare

and after all of this **** i still love you,

with what i have left of my heart

,,i was mad,,lol

Answer 1

In the 2nd poem - 2) on line L6 - the word "weekness" (weakness) is a repetition of same word on L5.  Suggestion: change word to "meekness" on L6 and see what you think - "now i have no meekness" ♥

Answer 2

awesome!!

Answer 3

hmm i like it.. it expresses your emotions quit well. I love number 1... similar to what im going through right now. But in number 2. i dont like the cursing. but i love the beginng of it..

Answer 4

I think they're both great expressions.  A cuss word well placed is extra punch from an angry heart and I think it shows honesty!

Nice Job!