What do you think of this? Give lots of advice please!?

Question

See this? My life now. A large historic garden, all the flowers dead dead dead because no one, in the midst of all that fighting, could be bothered to tend to them.

The fighting was a grand divorce, the divorce of Lord and Lady Selby. Each country had picked their allies and fighters from the maids and servants. Some were spies, sent to see if one of the parties were adulterous. What was my part in the war?

'Just look after the garden, Jane,' Lady Selby told me. It wasn't that she cared for her impressive historical garden, only that it gave off a bad impression to guests.

'Yes, maam.' I curtsied and exited, a bit disappointed that I was not to partake in the chaos of this total war.

I was of course kept up-to-date on the current situation by Frances, one of the newer more gossipy maids:

'Well, the Lady insists the master's cavorting with Sally the kitchen girl...you know Sally?'

I vaguely recalled the name and her features.

' I know of her'

'She always was a hussy.I wouldn't put it past her.'

Answer 1

It sort of comes off as one big confusing metaphor, which is probably unintentional. Maybe slow down and instead of telling the whole story show it through dialogue and actions.

Answer 2

Shouldn't that be "only that it gave off a good impression"? Good job with that. It gives the reader a hint about the kind of woman Lady Shelby is. Anyway I liked it all. It drew me in. Describe the garden instead of telling us. SHOW in the descriptions that it's dead, while hinting at why she didn't have time to take care of it.  What was she doing? Was she the one having an affair with Lord Shelby? Oooooohhh.....

Answer 3

What is a historic garden? =S

Otherwise, sounds good.  I like the premise and description.  Although I do agree that it started off a bit confusing.  You could clear it up.  I like the narration too.

Keep working on it, absolutely!

Answer 4

Not the type of thing i would typically read but i am actually quite interested.

You should drag out the plot more. Put more into it about the fight. GREAT so far though! Keep going at it no matter what anyone says though. There will always be people who don't like your work but you just have to take it and go on, don't let anyone discourage you. Good luck and write on.

Answer 5

There are some grammar errors.  It's not my typical read, but I can see some potential.  Keep working at it!