What do you think of this? I'd prefer an honest opinion to a nice one?

Question

Do not look, do not smell, do not taste, just listen

For chocolate is too sour a taste, snow too ugly a view, a rose too rotten a smell, skin too rough a touch, yet sound perfecto,,, in every which way.

You tickle my ears with every word,

What is lost in meaning, lost in mind, is found in heart

Under a magic spell is my love, love for you is as shallow as a glass and yet deeper than the ocean.

My efforts put forth in stopping yet heart and mind fight for common goal of foolishly blinded dreamers love.

The meaning of her words are lost;

Slow down for I would gladly slow the globe to a state of high

To let your every note resound in my ears.

I close my eyes and sail away for I am in love.

Answer 1

First line is great, just jack it up and put a different poem under it.

Do not look, do not smell, do not taste, just listen.

The tears upon your soft cheeks glisten.

I would continue if I had a clue what you were on about.

Answer 2

I think as an adult you could pull a right nice poem out of this.  It has all the ingredients.  I do it with my old "pieces" all the time.  Written from childhood or whatever, sometimes we write and through the development of time we deem different meanings from our work.  I think that's the case here.  

It's wordy but it's meaty.  There is lots to glean from these expressions of a 6th grader!!!!!!

Answer 3

i'm not sure how you got to the end of that poem from the beginning. there doesn't seem to be any continuity. this could be 3 or 4 different poems stuck together. why must the other senses be diminished in order for one to take over?  seems to me all senses are hightened when love strikes. guess i just didn't get it.

Answer 4

I am impressed. I am so jealous of people who can write poetry.

Answer 5

No word flow or rhythm, it reads like an essay instead of poetry, and is terribly subject disjointed.  More of a ramble than actually saying something.  Try again.