What do you think of this book review that I will send today to the local newspaper? Can i make it better?

Question

PS. I'm 14

My very short book review on....

Book: Grave Dirt

By: E.E. Richardson

Published: 2008

Do you like the sound of late night trips to the graveyard, the undead and haunted, abandoned houses? Of course you do. And if you don’t then look away now - as this undeniably wouldn’t be the book for you.

Grave Dirt is a horror story about two teenage friends - Luke and Darren. Moreover, Darren has to deal with his best mate Luke sudden death, and is soon unable to endure the emotions of loneliness and sadness that he is forced to face. The provenance of his feelings come from the fact that he never had a chance to say a proper goodbye to best mate. It’s killing him. Deep inside. Have you ever lost someone? If you have, surely you’ll do whatever it take bring them back?

Darren resorts to drastic and dangerous measures. He turns to his deranged, doddery but dead neighbour, who claimed she was a witch, who’d curse anyone that’d do her wrong. Before she died, she made Darren promise to perform an ancient magic, involving a grave doll that is buried, like priceless treasure somewhere in her house. This ancient magic would release her malevolent ghost, so she can come back, from the dead, once and for all. Naturally, Darren didn’t believe her, so on the day of Luke’s funeral, he inadvertently revives the old key that he stacked away in his cupboard years ago. He soon gets ideas, and makes a memorable but deadly visit to his treacherous neighbours’ house, and uncovers the so called “grave doll.” What happens next is both shocking and scary...

Grave Dirt pulls you in from the very beginning with its easy to read simple narrative. That’s one of the things I like about it. It also has 11 chapters and it took me two days to as read it’s a short story. It has a reading age of 8 and written for 14 , so my opinion it’s perfect for a new beginner of reading, a teenager or busy bee adult. So whether you’re an obsessive Harry potter fan like me or a Harry Potter hater, who complains that it’s “way too long,” you will be happy with this, as it’s only 71 pages and 11 chapters. What’s more, there’s no need to buy it just reserve or find it in your local library. All in all, I’m sure you’ll find this book a delightfully, enjoyable short summer read.

That’s why; I’m giving this book a hard-earned: ****

Answer 1

On the whole pretty good but as you say you can always make it better!

Answer 2

You give away too much in paragraph 3.

Suggested:

For help Darren turns to his neighbor, a doddering self-proclaimed witch, culminating in an adventure involving black magic, a malevolent ghost, and a hidden doll that may hold the key to everything.

Answer 3

Take out the references to "I." Everyone knows you wrote the book. You don't have to say it again.