What do you think of this description of a girl? All opinions taken on board. Thanks!?

3 ANSWERS

1. 
   

   The girl sounds nice, but I would show the description more than tell it if I were you.
   
   ex:
   
   Amber watched admiringly as Heather dropped her silky chestnut hair out of her clip and let it fall to her shoulders.  
   
   Heather effortlessly swept mascara over her long lashes, creating a frame for her deep brown eyes.
   
   Heath focused on Heather's lips as she talked to him, watching the curves of her plump, red mouth.
   
   At 5'6", Heather had to raise herself up onto her toes to reach Heath's mouth.
   
   There was a pile of jeans hanging over the fitting room door.  Heather burst out of the room wearing the 7th pair she had tried on.
   
   "Ok, what do you think of these ones?"
   
   Jamie studied them for a second before giggling.  "They are too short!"
   
   "Ah!  I am never going to find jeans long enough for my legs.  This is ridiculous!"
   
   "Are you kidding?!?  I would kill for legs like yours.  I got stuck with these little stumps instead."
   
   These are really rudimentary examples.  They are not great, but they make my point of showing instead of telling.  You don't have to get her whole description out in one paragraph.  Add little things like this throughout the story to SHOW what Heather looks like.

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2. 
   

   It was a great description but then I read what "Rae" wrote about showing instead of telling and I think that is an even better way to describe this girl "heather".  

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3. 
   

   I think it's beautiful

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