Question:

What do you think of this one -- Stalker - poem ---?

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

Stalker

by Victoria Tarrani

(© 0001.30)

The furnace

burns within my soul.

Terror shrouded vines

creep

like stealthy shadows

into my mind--

twisting,

writhing snakes.

Enter the net

the web of deceit

as lies,

dripping with honey,

enticed my will;

my privacy revealed--

invasion

intrusion

imposition.

I called him friend.

Lured by the comments

the praise

the comprehension

I needed.

Now the Law

protects my innocence,

my foolish mistakes.

I find solace;

detectives search

for the predator.

I am a child.

Prison

awaits the visitor,

the stalker,

if he tracks

my solitude

or trespasses

into my life

once more

 Tags:

   Report

6 ANSWERS


  1. Such strength we place on these words of faith...Tough piece T..


  2. wow amazing adjectives. i like it.

  3. It's heated anger, emotional, suggestive, trusting, and revealing of charming lies by a trusted friend. A very good writing, but I don't feel the safety or comfort you speak of in finding solace as the stalker awaits... and could trespass.

  4. I'm truly hoping that this was written about a fictitious stalker, as I would not like to think of you in this very real and very frightening predicament.

    As usual, with your poetry, several vivid images leap out at me, creating a poem within a poem. First "the web of deceit/as lies,/dripping with honey." The web is where the spider resides, the spider who always manages to ensnare and eat the unsuspecting fly. This also incorporates the saying "Honey gets more flies than vinegar." which brings to mind even more the concept of a truly crafty spider/stalker. Chills down my spine with that one.

    The second visceral image. "Now the Law/protects my innocence/my foolish mistakes." Too often is innocence mistaken for foolishness, when to few realize that there is a difference. Also, we have a habit of ridiculing the law, so there is an added vulnerability to this stanza. The thing so often ridiculed is what we are now trusting to protect us...where are we going?

    This is a very viscerally evocative poem, thank you.

  5. I can only second Ms Terra's perceptive reading of this poem, particularly of its second stanza; if possible, I would consider strengthening some of the associations she mentions.  For example, `deceit' conveys the sense of `as lies,' while this line obstructs the image of a `web... dripping with honey.'.  Likewise, though the senses do not entirely overlap, `net' competes a little bit with `web.'

    Stanza two is framed with a very elevated intimacy, enacted by what is apparently the only use of the imperative in the poem (`Enter the net...'), and a credenza of alliterating staccati.  As intended, these make me uncomfortable; but I am not exactly sure how much I like the effect poetically of this change in tone.

    I suppose, if you don't mind my doing this, I am saying that something along these lines, at least for the first half, would appeal to me as more vivid:

    The web of deceit

    dripping with honey

    enticed my will...

    All artwork that conveys the psychological to the law also makes me uneasy for some reason-- for example I am not yet reconciled with Aeschylus' The Eumenides, or Ann Radcliffe's The Romance of the Forest.  Perhaps this is true for everybody, but the last two stanzas have the same effect for me.  But your marvellous `tracks my solitude' can be described only as Shakespearean: I wish the poem ended there, though confessedly, it still does need something with the sense of the last three lines.

  6. Very descriptive..I like...

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 6 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.