What do you think of this poem, its really short

Question

Why am I up all night waiting,

just waiting for another tomorrow?

Another chance to finish the abandoned work of today.

I had another tomorrow today and I blew it,

a reoccurring of the events of numerous yesterdays.

So why wait to begin living tomorrow,

when I can live what is left of today?

Okay I didn't spend much time on this poem at all but let me know what you think.

Answer 1

Nice and peaceful.

I like a lot!

Answer 2

this is very nice poem, and it is so very true too, people put off what has to be done today and say they'll do it tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes.

Answer 3

This is a wonderful poem.  I really like it very much, however, there is a problem with line 5.

How about this version:

"a recurrence of events from numerous yesterdays.

I would also suggest changing the punctuation a bit throughout for pauses in the right spots.

So it would read like this:

Why am I up all night waiting,

waiting for another tomorrow;

another chance to finish the abandoned work of today?

I had another tomorrow today, and blew it;

a recurrence of events from numerous yesterdays.

So, why wait to begin living tomorrow,

when I can live what is left of today?

I have to agree with the gyst of the poem as well, because I find that I do this myself.  When I really don't want to do something, I have a way of delaying it till 'tomorrow' :O))) . . . a tomorrow that may or may not even come.  Great poem.

Answer 4

Good concept...line 5 needs a little editing...the ending is a little shallow...I think you could have done better with a little more time.  I wouldn't toss it...I'd edit it and keep it with your other poems...if nothing else, it will provide you inspiration for future poems on similar subjects.

...and keep writing

Answer 5

it is like saying that we must live our life in the present neither yesterday nor tomorrow. good one but has a rough way of expression. make it more smooth and soft.

Answer 6

thoughtfully...its GREAT!! but on the overall impact aspect...its very negative...consider making iot more neutral..!! good luck!!