What do you think of this poem I just wrote? I'm 18. Please be honest!!?

Question

I wrote this poem for my friend, Destinee. We went to school together for 3/4 of a year, and I had to leave the school, because my depression had gotten so bad and I just couldn't handle it. The hardest thing I ever had to do was to walk out of those doors, and see her standing on the other side. The time that I was there, we were good good friends. We kept each other alive. And after I left, we talked for awhile, and then she sort of disappeared. She still talks to me sometimes, but I know she's not okay. I'll always love her, and I want her to know that, so I wrote this. But I want to know if it's any good or not.

So let me know, k? :-)

"It's been 3 years,

And still, you're gone.

And I'm left wondering

What went wrong?

I said I'd never leave you,

That I'd always be there.

But still you turned and walked away,

Like you never even cared.

You tell me that you're sorry,

That you don't push me away.

But every day that you don't answer,

Makes it harder for me to stay.

Answer 1

its nice.. and sincere..

Answer 2

poetry isnt all about rhyming, it sounds more like a sad song to me, im just giving constructive critisism here, if you want to be a really good poet you should try not so much rhyming words, and try to write something that has allot of metaphors

Answer 3

Your depression is still under work, change your attitude you repelled the girl away.,,, the poem has got no rhythm.

Answer 4

That is deep. Yeah i agree with ^^^^, it would make an awesome song.

Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that someone's trash is another's treasure. How the person receives it will depend on how your relationship was/is. Its really good but if I think that you should stress the love that you feel/felt more. But other than that its really good.

Answer 5

it's good, it shows alot of your hurt emotion, and that adds to the poem itsself

Answer 6

Very nice. I like the additional comments. She is lucky to have a friend like you. If she doesn't accept that then you should move on and give your energy to someone who is deserving because you are a good and caring person to write something like this.

Answer 7

it's good. some sad feelings. with the right music it can be a love song.:)