What do you think of this poem? I was just wondering.

Question

The Emotional Gun

Oh, I know this game,

Ive played the same.

Its t*t for tat and one more.

Its called sorrows Blackmail

And at this I never fail.

But your face evens the score.

You b;tch and moan,

Like some old crone.

To guilt your point across.

And often it works,

With your pitiful quirks.

And there, I stand at a loss.

You point that emotional gun.

For profit or for fun.

And Im there in the cross hairs.

It fits so easily in your hands.

Now what are your demands,

Before youre cruel weapon flares.

I duck and stand strong

For only so long.

But you aim for the heart.

I bob and weave

For the exit to leave.

I should have seen it from the start.

So I formed a shield

In hopes youd yield

But it offered little resistance.

So I removed my heart

I cried at the part

Now immune from your persistence.

Now over is the game

And its still the same.

Its not who wins or looses.

Its who looks the best,

So give your gun a rest.

And time for us to l**k the bruises.

Answer 1

well..I not really a poet person, but it definitely sounds turmoilish and about loss~

Answer 2

lol

Answer 3

Wow! That's deep. I like it.

You can totally get into the meaning of it....there's a lot of stuff to learn in there. Awesome!!

Answer 4

Not Bad....

Answer 5

I like it! It's not the typical sappy poem!  

Answer 6

I think the poem is really terrific. I like what you call the gun. It is a frilly aspiring device. I am impressed.

Answer 7

I like it a lot, your have strong symbolism. You make the mood stick, and you don't drift from the metaphor. Not to mention that I can really relate to the situation. Well Done.

Answer 8

It makes me think. It's a kind of poem that I have to read more than once to try to see what's going on, and when you told us about your argument with your ex-gf, it helps to comprehend...

Answer 9

I really like this.  It really connects to where I am in life right now.  That is a talent in and of itself-- to connect to other people.

However, I noticed that you have several spelling errors... "looses" instead of loses, "youd" instead of you'd"  And, I think that's all.

But some of your wording seems a bit superfluous.  I think that a good thing for you to do would be to go through and, read it out loud, and see if there are any lines you could take, or any extra words... You want a poem to be concise, and for every word to have meaning, considering that you have so few to use.  But make a few small changes, and the poem will be great!

Answer 10

=o

Mind blowing...

Answer 11

Very strong images.  Try to rework some lines for a tighter poem. Rework the third line and polish up the last line.  Very honest work.