What do you think of this poem I wrote? Warning: It's long. Criticism welcome.?

Question

When man becomes mechanical and loses all emotion

In the face,

We will see blandness and blank-eyed stares,

Unfeeling not seeing and perceiving pain through

Plastic-painted eyes.

What then is left to say of the fate of mankind?

Cryptic is always dreary but how accurate and thorough a statement!

I’m on my knees

Light the call, bring about movement to my feet,

Allow me to run spreading and proclaiming my liberation

From all things non-feeling.

The technology of the past has met that of the future,

And together they have brought about downfall

In the form of dancing hypnotic electric singular beats

Hand signals violence greed and the diamond encrusted necklace,

Laced in a dying boy’s blood, stolen in malice

On the night Halloween was born.

Gun shots screaming men whistling about clubs and whores,

Reality screams rehearsed on plastic boxes and glass screens,

Colors keep people fixated on this ugly dream.

The cats of music and art have all but died,

Taken down on the New York boulevard where they should be safe from harm

From the lunatics raving at gunpoint

God save the catcher in the rye!

I’m fixated on the metal black shining tank,

That’s pumping out of its *** black putrid fumes of the elitists in their decayed ignorance

Sunglasses keeping the sun at bay

As well as the rest of the world

Where the boys and girls watch in wonder at this mechanically-driven behemoth

From their car window with the rest of their family where they sleep and eat.

Touch screens activated,

Tell the computer where you want to ****

The w***e your Other knows nothing about while sleeping drugged and broken.

Society became a terrible dream

In the smoke fire screeching steel beams,

Twisted and melded with human testaments to cruel intentions

And while the rest of a broken nation cries

A party plans the destruction of another helpless nation

Deeply embedded they are in their want for that black substance

Depending on human lives to give to them

Everlasting wealth and a place in the house

For a monarch’s term.

The land is stained, friend.

You have seen her in her fear

Gazing out at the free world weeping and wanting

For a way out of this dreary h**l.

Answer 1

i think it may need separating into stanzas.

very good tho, altho i prefer fully rhyming poems, but thats just me...

i found some rhymes in there. are they intentional?

Answer 2

An interesting take one's longing to escape the technological shackles of mankinds self imposed prison.

Answer 3

It is nopt very often you find something good on yahoo poetry section ...

and you are no exception

if only there was a rule

I`m sure you would break that too

do people  think that people are fools

its not easy God knows how I`ve tried

to find on Yahoo a poem that  I liked .

Answer 4

I also think stanzas would help but i like the subject matter and the diversity of situations used to describe a single thought. Reminds me of Bad Religion lyrics.