What do you think of this poem? (Please Read)?

Question

"Keep Holding On"

No one ever said life was easy

In fact, it's just the opposite

It's as complicated as physics

But as simple as a fire pit

There are many obstacles one must face

Some are great, yet some are small

But they all can be overcome with each other

helping along the way; in case we accidentally fall

That's why friends are made

To help us when in need

Whether it be a lack of shelter

or lack of horse feed

Life cannot be lived to its fullest without one to share

We were built to live alone

So every chance you get, say hello

Or give someone a call, on the telephone

Remember that whenever you feel down or distressed

You can just relax, and have a drink on your lawn

Because friends bring your smiles out

and always tell you to "keep holding on"

Answer 1

i think your poem is uplifting, and reminds everyone that they will always have someone when things go bad. i think its very good =]

Answer 2

It's a good start!  You need to work on it though.  For instance in the fourth stanza you say We were built to live alone.  I think you meant that we were NOT built to live alone.

Makes me wonder if this was a first draft.  

Try to work some more imagery into it.  Maybe you could connect the fire pit from the first stanza into the rest of the poem, for instance.

Have fun!

Answer 3

Very good thought pattern and the advice of the posters is very wise. Always heed good advice and write from your heart. Tanya D. is a good example. Thanks for sharing.

Answer 4

i like the concept of it all.

of course it needs work.

revise it a little.

you might want to take out filler words.

it makes the poem longer.

can you answer mine please

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

Its good, but again you can cut out words and still get the point across, not making it so long =)