What do you think of this poem and what should it be named?

Question

Im sitting here all alone,

No ones here beside me,

I dont want to be here,

its not were I want to be.

Every ones outside,

I want to be out there,

With everyone else,

But im sitting alone in here.

I dont have manny friends,

And its all my fault,

I pushed them away,

And this is the result.

I cant wait 'till next year,

Im going ing to change and be me,

My looks, my clothes, my everything,

Im gonna be who I want to be!

What do you think? And any ideas for a name?I kinda wrote it in a hurry one day at school.

Answer 1

This is bloody fantastic! You have a rare talent. Oh my, this is just so evocative!

Answer 2

Leaf

Turn the page

A new Day

Rising

Shed

Answer 3

Do a spell check and then maybe name it "inside myself" ???

Answer 4

its cool!!!! how bout "The Real Me"

Answer 5

Poem starts off sad, but it has a twist at the end of it.  Suggested name for your poem - " Motivated To Be Me" OR "Motivated To Be Who I Am"

Answer 6

its great what do you think of changes or the real me

Answer 7

As it is it is very poor, if ur gonna pick a played topic (which I often do) you need to put an original twist on it. vary your vocabulary, work on flow issues, listen to music as you write, read allowed. As a first try, not bad but you need to definitely work on it.  It has potential but as it is very poor. Don't take offense to any of this it is all suppose to make you stronger not tear u down. I like the poem but it is played and boring. it doesn't flow that well and although rhyme is not necessary it does help with flow in some circumstances.

I hope this helps I dont mean to be hard on you, I really dont. I just want to make you a stronger poet.

as a title simple name it me or myself or changing into me. keep the title simple and myserious

Answer 8

cocoon

metamorphosis

butterfly

Answer 9

it's really good. you should think of something like "authenticy" or as someone else suggested "changes"

it's cool. keep it up!