What do you think of this poem i wrote... and why?

Question

Give me a poem

Give me a poem

Please make it short

Throw in big words that confuse

Riddles and lines into the pot

Chiselled, moulded, thought

I want a poem, what do you say?

Deep like the abyss

With visions and ideas

That upsets as well as soothes

Lies and tells the truth

Show me a poem in veil like a Muslim

I’ll show you one that knows not religion

But shades of bright red slurp

To provoke, invoke

Endorse as well as reject

I want a poem most of all

Marrying my wares to my woes

When I’m happy or sad that knows

Each line deep more than the last

More wisp, built yet to last

By Dee

Answer 1

i think its good, i'd like it better if it rhymed though.

Answer 2

Pretty- i like it

Answer 3

Dee,

I see by your poem

you will accept anything

The poem is wanting some challenge

because it says throw in some big words

that confuse.

I don't know if I can guarantee confusion

                Parade Poem:

This morning I went to a parade

watching it was unique

there were lots of floats

My attempt to take pictures

I will have to wait to get them developed

there were lots of dignitaries

on horses

Radio stations police

Answer 4

i liked it it was very deep but it did get a little confusing plz read mine tho i would love to hear what you have to say

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

I like it! And don't listen to the people who tell you it should rhyme more. When you add too many rhymes, it makes the poem sound cheesy, annoying, and immature. I like it just the way it is. Great job!

Answer 6

Great lyrics, it would be better if they rhymed, though.

Answer 7

Interesting and varied enough.  I would encourage you to keep writing.  "Shades of bright red slurp"??  lol lol

Answer 8

i like the last verse alot..