What do you think of this poem

Question

PLASTIC HEARTS

Eyeliner fades piercing’s gone left standing all alone.

Plastic hearts in puddles of mud stained but not forgotten.

Sitting and waiting with a deep hole in your chest.

So cold out side you can see your breath.

Waiting for them to come back wishing like it use to be.

The only people who cared I have no friends surrounding me.

Look left and right no one by your side useless to run an hide.

Afraid to lose them but slowing growing apart trying to find your plastic heart.

Answer 1

i love it- it flows well to the central meaning i think stuf like this should be considered new age poetry (like a theme)

Answer 2

Your poetry is fine, Hank had a good suggestion, as he puts it it is easier on the eyes!

Cheers!

Answer 3

I like it.

I think it would read better if you formatted it thinner, ie

Eyeliner fades piercing’s gone

left standing all alone.

Plastic hearts in puddles of mud

stained but not forgotten.

Sitting and waiting

with a deep hole in your chest.

So cold out side

you can see your breath.

etc, (easier for the eye to run with)