What do you think of this poem that i wrote?

Question

Staring

I’m staring at the ceiling, and I do not know why.

I’ve been too long without you, and I think I’m gonna cry.

I have never in my life felt so very complete,

Than the times when we’re alone and our gazing eyes meet.

I smile at you, and you smile back; you understand my heart.

You know exactly what I’ll say before I even start.

I know I sometimes worry cause I think I’m not enough.

I know love’s not always easy; at times it will be tough.

But, I trust you, and I have no doubts that you are the one.

You’re the one that I will love until my life is done.

Sometimes I really can’t believe how much I have been blessed.

I think about you all the time; my love for you can’t rest.

The way I feel cannot be told with words or by song played.

How much I care is endless; my love will never fade.

When I’m staring in your eyes nothing matters at all.

And, I know I can count on you to catch me when I fall.

Faults I find in myself, you think are endearing.

Before I can say sorry, my mistakes you’re clearing.

Tell me you love me and that you’ll always be there.

You are the one place that I will fix my eye’s stare.

I promise you, honey, you will always be my one;

You’ll always be the person to whom I can run.

In trouble, in sickness, in sorrow, and in strife,

For better, and for worse, I plan to be your wife.

It brings peace to my heart and it settles my soul,

To know I have someone like you to make me whole.

I love you Tyler Johnson, and I always will.

No matter how long we’re together I will love you still.

Answer 1

I honestly think that that is the best poem I have ever read in my life! It was so amazing that it brought tears to my eyes! I'm not even kidding! You should be really proud of your self, and you should feel lucky that you have such a great talent!

Answer 2

Its too long, you've made a classic mistake which is too try and compensate for quality with content, it becomes boring.

Take the best and most meaningful 8-14 lines and use them and space them out in pairs two lines, space two lines space and so on. That will make it more inviting and appealing to read.

It's the same with any art form produce a lot then edit it down. think about films, most of what they shoot ends on the cutting room floor. Quality over quantity ever time.

Answer 3

It's cute and I'm sure that Tyler Johnson would appreciate it much better than anyone on Y!A....

Answer 4

over all it is very nice, and is possibly a swell gift, that is if it were given as a gift. i do have to admit it is long, but there isn't anything wrong with that, a poem can be as long as you want it to be. also i think it is best to avoid contraction,"can't" is better off as "cannot", "you're" is better off as "you are", and so forth.

i like the last 6 lines most.

Answer 5

that was touching. u should be very proud of yourself.