What do you think of this situation with my 3-year old niece?

Question

My niece is turning 3 years old in two weeks. Here is the situation:

She has been raised in a broken home, her parents do not spend any time teaching her. I know they do care for her but they are not sitting down and teaching her things (reading, alphabet, numbers, art). She basically watches tv, plays with battery operated toys and plays outside a little with her cousins/babysitter's kids.

She only says a handful of words on her own. She says baby, mommy, cute, no, mine, and a few others. She will repeat words usually, but will never talk in complete sentences. She babbles her own made-up language. Basically I think she has the vocabulary of an 18 month old?

(Her dad's family only speaks spanish with her and her mom's family speaks only english- maybe this is adding to the delay?)

Her mom doesn't acknowledge that there is a "problem."

What do you think about this? I mean... they say the most critical time in a child's life is 0-3 years. So far she has gotten VERY LITTLE one-on-one quality learning time... if any. :(

Answer 1

thats a very sad situation. my suggestion would be for you to spend some quality time with her if you can. you cant change the parents but you can do your best to help her. technically that is a form of neglect.  

Answer 2

I can only draw on my own experiences with my own children, as every family and child is different but I firmly believe that the all kids need quality attention. They need someone to patiently have conversations with them, parents need to shut off the television and take their kids outside and go for a walk, talk about their surroundings, and listen to what the child has to say. I guess I'm trying to say that interaction is a magical key that can unlock so much potential in a child and for what ever the reasons, in this day and age, it seems many parents are doing less and less interacting and more hollering or distracting. I say if the parents aren't going to take charge, then take charge in your own (non-intrusive) way. I don't recommend stepping on any parents toes but maybe you could arrange a routine where you take her out for a few hours once or twice a week and really pay attention and interact with her doing different activities. I would imagine a single mom wouldn't mind a few hours break anyway. And with kids this age the big bonus is it doesn't take money to entertain them, if you are creative you can come up with a world full of ideas to make the simplest time more interesting.  

Answer 3

At age 3 a child should be talking really well. My 3 year old great grandson is talking up a storm and he is very smart too.

Your niece should be making up stories and drawing pictures.She should be able to hold a conversation with her parents. My guess is that having 2 languages in the home has her confused and she should only be taught one of them.

Answer 4

yeah something needs to be done for her. if she likes to watch tv you could always buy some educational dvds or something like that. somebody needs to spend some quality time with her and teach her the alphabet, numbers, shapes, colors, months of the year, days of the week, and weather. i know it seems like a lot but if you do a little bit of each every day. we call it "circle time". sing the alphabet, count to ten, go over basic shapes, go over basic colors, sing a song about months in the year, sing a song about the days of the week, and have her look outside and you can talk about the weather with her. it takes about 40 minutes if you do it like that, do it every day if  you can. and after a while she will start to sing with you and thats how she will learn. i would also get her some board books with number, colors, and so forth and let her look at them by herself and see how things go. hope i helped,

Answer 5

At 3, kids should be PLAYING. The teaching of reading, letters, numbers, etc. is NOT important at this age. Sure, it can be thrown into the mix, such as when playing catch the ball, you count out loud each time the ball is thrown or caught...but the school-type teaching you refer to is totally unncessary at her age. However, she does need loads of interaction with adults (who are literate, in any language) and other kids to develop language and social skills appropriate for her age. Do her parents take her to a pediatrician? If yes, the doctor should pick up on her lack of language skills. The best you can do is to make yourself more available to her to Play with her and talk to her while you're playing.  

Answer 6

Children of a bilingual background usually get their speech later on. It's hard on them because of having two languages to deal with.They have to make the language separation first on their minds to be able to use it. When they begin to talk, they use both languages together often until they can recognize what vocabulary to use when each language its being spoken. If the child understands when someone speaks to her and tries to communicate when having wants or needs using sign language or gestures or recognizable "baby talk", there should be no problem as the speech will be developed when the kid is ready. Just don't use baby talk back to her, but show and repeat the correct way to say things.

You should help by reading to her, singing, teaching baby rhymes and finger games when possible. These games force the child to speak and the repetition and fun of it makes it interesting for the child and builds up vocabulary. Good luck as an aunt!

Answer 7

my cousin she is the same age and she going through the same thing. her speech isn't at what it should be my daughter is the same age and she often can't understand what she is babbling about. although she doesn't have two languages being spoken to her she understands words but can't put many words into sentences I have often told her parents who both work but leave her at a cousins house that has no kids all day that she should be in daycare so she can interact with other kids she has a brother but he is only 7 months old so talking is limited. I would tell them to consider daycare of speech therapy unfortunately the only thing you can do is suggest.  

Answer 8

She does sound like she has some speech delays.  My daughter was referred to a speech therapist at age two because she wasn't doing much talking around two either. She was saying similar things to what you mentioned.   I also had a similar situation in that her father spoke spanish to her and I spoke english. I was told it was common to have speech delays in children that are learning two languages but the pediatrician was still concerned. Are there any resources in your area that you can do as her aunt to get her involved in? Maybe some fun classes you and her could do together? By the way you sound like an amazing aunt!  good luck.