What do you think of this story?

Question

There's this teenage girl whose parents pass away unexpectedly in a plane crash, so she goes to live with her aunt who happens to be a famous fashion designer. She's never met her rich aunt, but when she finally settles in, she has to adjust to a new life: an aunt, living a rich life, and attending a private academy. More than that, she takes a bigger step when she gets a makeover from of course, her aunt. She faces girl drama when she attends the academy, though.

Do you think it's okay? I mean it sounds kinda cheesy I know, but I'm trying to build it to a point where it's really original and catchy. Do you have any suggestions, opinions, or ideas? Please help! =)

Answer 1

It's a solid start.  It's a little cheesy, but that's okay.

The makeover seems a bit predictable...okay a lot predictable.  

Answer 2

I would avoid reading the book if I saw it in a bookstore, actually.  As you have said, it's just dripping with cheesy-ness.

First step to getting rid off the cheesy-ness; don't have her parents die in a plane crash.  Do you know how rare plane crashes are?  I personally don't (who has those random facts?) but it's less than 1 in a million for commercial airlines.  Besides, both of them dying?  Come on.

And why is her aunt a "famous fashion designer?"  That's cliche.  Why does she automatically have girl drama when she attends the academy?  That's cliche.

Give her aunt a different career; it can be similar, but why does she have to be this famous glamazon?  Why can't she (for example) be a quirky, 40 year old woman who designs bright clothing for middle aged women who refuse to grow up?  And please, spice up the girl drama.  I don't care to see another book about cruel all-girl cliques that are all superficial and tease this girl; add some depth.  I remember reading a book from the POV of the chubby teased girl who planned a school shooting and from the POV of the bully, a popular girl who had been molested at a young age by her stepfather.  You really don't have to do anything dramatic like that, but just mix it up a little.

Answer 3

I like it! Keep the makeover part. It kind of reminds me of the Princess Diaries. It's hard not to be made over if you're in the fashion industry. (Ugly Betty is the exception).