What do you think of this vegetarian mother?

Question

She says that being vegetarian is very important to her but she is not bringing up her children vegetarian! I find this really odd. My children have been veg from birth, and I would not buy meat etc for them even if they wanted me to (which they really do not!). At first the father was around and he didn't give a toss about her beliefs, but he has not been around for years.

She has a bit of a problem with discipline - do you think that this could be a part of it?

Answer 1

If all of your homecooked meals are vegetarian and their packed lunches are too, then there's no real need to force vegetarianism on your kids.  As long as they're aware of the reasons to be vegetarian and have a home environment where they can be exposed to vegetarian foods, that's good enough.  Eventually, they will try meat and have to make their own decisions.  If you give them proper guidance and education and aren't too pushy, they can at least make informed decisions about their food choices.  Vegetarianism is supposed to be a choice, not a religion (which a person should also have the right to decide for themselves).

Answer 2

I don't know. Disciplining children with food seems kinda backwards to me.

Answer 3

Yes,this could be a part of it.

Answer 4

I am vegetarian and so is my husband. I do not buy or cook meat at home and at the moment the children are really into what we believe. However we have always told them that it is their decision and if they want to have meat when they are with friends or whatever, then it is up to them. Just because we do not have it at home does not mean they cannot have it elsewhere. So far they are not interested in it, but I suspect they will want to experiment as they get older. I think it is really important for them to make up their own minds in the long run.

Answer 5

Yea... that's weird.

I would have thought that if she has such a strong belief in vegetarianism, she would have wanted her children to be vegetarian to.

But you cant force vegetarian beliefs on people, so maybe she thinks that they would want to choose if they wanted to be vegetarians.

Maybe it is something to do with the fact that she has a bit of a problem with discipline.

Answer 6

Everyone has their individual beliefs and standards. Maybe she wants to raise her kids to make their own choice later in life. If I had kids, they would be vegan from day 1, but there could be many reasons why hers aren't - maybe her other relatives have pressured her to feed them meat.

Answer 7

It's a little weird, kind of like if a Christian raised their kid Jewish, or if a feminist raised her kids to be misogynists. Usually parents should raise their children in a way that conforms to their beliefs, not only does that eliminate the hypocrisy arguement that happens later ("Well why can't I do this if YOU can do it?" - kids are notorious for this one), but that's the key role of parenting.

We all know what kids of parents that just let their kids decide everything and run free and akimbo are like... oh GOD do I know those kids, my uncle's kids were raised to pick their clothes and they decide their meals and expect their mom to be a chauffeur, nurse and gourmet chef every day. My stance is, my kids will be raised according to my moral beliefs. They will be kind people, charitable, honest, very clean and tidy, studious, bookworms, hygienic, athletic and vegetarian. I want the best for my kids and since I live my life in a way that reflects that *I* consider to be best and most fitting, why would I want my kids to have less than that? I'm a parent, I'm shaping and rearing a young mind. If I don't make the decisions and I don't show the way, someone else will - and that someone else is usually a shady friend, bully, or some celebrity that they'll choose to emulate.

It's not like it's a crime either way though, and it might just be easier for her - most schools and day care centers serve meals with meat and I have yet to find one that openly advertises a vegetarian option. If she's a single mom she probably works a lot and relies on others to help her take care of them, and the others taking care of them are probably not vegetarian like she is.

It would just be an added degree of difficulty to try to coordinate for everyone to cater to her dietary needs, and then of course enforcing a diet on kids is hard if you don't give a good reason. So telling them how meat is wrong to eat, and "oh the poor animals", might make her uncomfortable - while it's easy for an adult to be vegetarian and hide it or fit in well, a little kid might not see the stigma in repeating verbatim what she taught them... "Some animal's baby died for you to have that sandwich, it's just rotting flesh, that's wrong and evil." ... I feel uncomfortable seeing anyone saying things like that, but usually it's vegetarian kids and preteens, it fits into that clique/gotta be different habit kids have.

I guess none of us can judge until we can all walk a mile in her shoes and understand her reasons for being vegetarian, understand what it's like being a single mom, and understand how she feels emotionally about this (does she fear being different or difficult? Is she scared that she might not understand how to make a balanced vegetarian diet for a child?). I mean, who knows.

Answer 8

I think the right way to go is to introduce children to lots of different things.  As they grow older they will learn to make their own choices.

Answer 9

I will never buy or support the meat industry and their related by products. Among other issues this is a moral issue.

Why would I morally compromise my values to simply feed my children something they desire? Not all desires are healthy. Most parents realize this and do not grant their children anything they want else they become very spoiled.

Maybe her fear is health. There have been studies that have shown that vegan children compared to non-vegans had a whopping average of 18 points higher in I.Q. If nutritional deficiency was an issue I'd doubt these children would be able to perform so well. "In one study, pediatric developmental tests indicated that brain development in vegetarian children is normal. In fact, the mental age of the children advanced over a year beyond chronological age, and mean IQ was well above average (with an average of 116 points). " The average American I.Q. is 98.

http://health.rmad.org/thrive_plants.htm

http://www.bikeforums.net/archive/index....

Maybe she feels they should have the choice to eat meat if they want to. Sure I understand this, but why should it be on her dime? If she truly feels it is immoral why would she pay for it for them to eat it?

Their will always be opportunities at other friends or families houses, school, and other events to eat plenty of meat and related products. In this society you don't have to look far for these items to come to you.

Maybe she is too tired to fight with them about this. Being a single mom can be tough. I know I'm dating a mom recently single with four children and let me tell you though it can have rewards of its own but it also is not always a picnic.

In any case this woman needs to do so serious soul searching and to find the will to carry out what she truly believes is right.

Answer 10

Every person has their choices and believes, few days ago i came across a question about a vegetarian mom don't know whether she should let her son start vegetarian diet or wait til he is older.We have a lot of worries when we make choices, especially you choose to be different, have you ever ask your children, are they different from the other kids in school or have they ever wonder what does MacBurger taste like? May she wanted her children to decide whether they want to become vegetarian on their own. For me i think there is nothing wrong but making different choices.

Answer 11

this just seems strange to me.  i think that vegetarian diets are generally healthier, and i wouldn't want to raise my kids in a manner that is unhealthy.....just like you wouldn't let your kids smoke or drink, why would you let them do anything else that is against your beliefs?

i plan on raising my kids as vegetarians, but if a time comes in their lives that they would like to give it up i will respect their choice.  i'm not saying that when they're 8 and someone makes fun of them i will let them make the switch....but i would consider it at an older age depending on the reason they were choosing to do it.  

people are always saying that it's wrong for vegetarians to "force" their diet on their kids, but doesn't every parent force a diet on their child? whether it includes meat or not, all parents dictate their childrens' diets.

as far as discipline goes....maybe she is just letting them be too independent at an age when they're not yet making decisions in an adult way. you didn't mention their ages, so i'm not sure.

anyway, i agree with you.....this is very strange.

Answer 12

Often people live vicariously through their children. Sometimes those who eat a vegetarian lifestyle themselves do not raise their children in the same way because they themselves unconsciously might be still craving foods they have removed from their diet. We humans arre so complex aren't we?

Answer 13

Im vegetarian but I believe people have the right to choose and not to force your beliefs on people. I understand why people wouldnt want their kids eating meat that the animals were given antibiotics and hormones but you can buy meat with out that. My reason for not eating meat is because of the way the animals are treated but my son has the right to decide for him self.