What do you think of this writing from my sixteen year old?

Question

“Hey!” He was not trying to hold back his grin “I was looking around and feeling kind of lonely and then I saw you and was like ‘There’s my people!”

This is where he knew something was crooked. Sometimes I slipped into silence but I always giggled at his jokes.

I stared so hard he blurred.The only thing I could make out was his hair, it had grown back so fast.

“Shandy?” Something was strange about the way he spoke; I had never heard concern in his voice before. His arm was a white blur, closer and closer, reaching for my shoulder. I screamed a shriek that startled even me. The glaze broke off my eyes and as soon as his fingers touched me every touch came back. This time I would fight, this time I wouldn’t sulk and sob, this time I would do it right. My knuckles popped his lip. The red was bright and smeared on my right hand. I started with my left, alternating hands with sporadic slaps and hits. My eyes were dripping water, I couldn’t see his face and I was glad I couldn’t.

Answer 1

As long as that's not about a first hand situation, I think that's pretty good writing for a 16 year old.

Answer 2

Wow... awesome writing! not a lot of people can express themselves like this :) if you are wondering if we think this might be true, there's is always a possibility. You need to have a long non judgmental conversation with her if you think something happened to her. But if you are trying to get an opinion on how good she is at writing, she's awesome, encourage her! I must agree with another comment, take it off cuz someone might just copy it and claim it for themselves :(

Answer 3

I'm going to use this story as my own. I'm joking i'm joking, don't worry I would NEVER do anything like that. Anyways. I think your 16 year old has a great writing style... it's very descriptive. It's awesome!

Answer 4

contact the psyc ward near you

Answer 5

Wow!  That's incredible from a 16 year old!

Answer 6

That was absolutely excellent, I want to read the rest. lol.

10/10

A very good suspense novel, methinks

I agree with the others, you should take it off, someone might steal it.

But whoever wrote this definately has a future career in writing, these words are expertly crafted into the best beginning of a story I've ever read.

Answer 7

Good. I don't know if your asking if you should be worried or not, but if you are; you shouldn't.

I write like that, and I haven't even reached the ripe age of 15.

Don't be worried, praise her talents and take this question off because, since it's not copyrighted, someone might try and take the story.