What do you think of us always leaving our daughter home.?

Question

I have a 15 years old. She's an only child. My husband and I travel at least twice every year on vacation. We've been cruising as well for the last 2 years. We've always left our daughter with her grandmother.

We want to go cruising this year as well and was planning on leaving her at home. A friend said that it's not right that we leave her at home all the time and that we seem want to live like we did before we had our daughter.

I'm 36 and my husband is 40. What do you think?

Answer 1

I agree with your friend, you have an only child and you travel without her 2 times a year. Do you ever take her with ya'll? To me it sounds like you don't want to be parents for a week. You sound like very selfish people and I feel sorry for your daughter.

Answer 2

What does your daughter think? If she wants to go with you then she should be able to go, at least on some vacations. But if she wants to stay then she should stay as long as you do have some family trips also. However if she REALLY wants to stay alone and is adamant that she does not stay with her grandma then you might want to make sure she doesn't have anything "inappropriate" planed while you are gone as well as see if her grandma and your friend make a few unannounced visits.

Answer 3

I'm just wondering why you don't take her with you.  She's your only child, these are memories that she doesn't get to take with her when she's grown and out of the house.  I mean to each his own, but if we go somewhere we take ALL our kids with us (4) if we go grocery shopping we might leave the older ones at home at take our toddler with us otherwise we take them with us.  There isn't that much time until she'll be gone and out of the house anyway, I mean if you go away on your anniversary, that's one thing.  Have you asked her how she feels about it??

If it was me, my feelings would be very hurt.  I think you should make them family vacations.  But it's up to you.  Good luck to all of you.

Answer 4

If you were 15 years old, and your parents left you behind twice a year to go on an expensive cruise, what would you think?    Would you wish you could go on a cruise and see what it is like?   Would you wonder why they don't want you along?

I guess if you don't want to spend your time with your daughter,  and if you don't want to spend your money on your daughter, then don't.   I personally like to share my vacations with my children.  It makes me happy to see them happy  It is also very educational for children to get to travel.

Answer 5

I think any decent parent would have included their child. I also think you have your priorities really screwed up.

Answer 6

Leaving for a vacation twice a year without your daughter is not neglecting her.

My parents went on cruises once or twice a year and would leave me at home, but I was 16 years old.  When I was younger they would leave me with my grandparents or aunt and uncle.

I'd suggest waiting until she is sixteen, lay out the rules before you go, and have trusted friends and neighbors keep an eye on her.

Have fun on your cruise.  My parents loved the Windjammer cruises.

Answer 7

I think its c**p that you dont take her with you AT LEAST half the time... im a mom, i have 2 children and yes a vacation sounds nice but it sounds to me like you ARE trying to live as if she doesnt exist. Whenever i go somewhere i take my kids with me. If i need a break from them, i get a hotel room for the night...

Answer 8

I agree with your friend. You should take your daughter, at least most of the time. Being alone with your husband once in a while is good but not all the time.

Answer 9

Traveling is a wonderful experience for children, as well, and I think that you should consider taking your daughter along on your trips.  At her age, you could do family activities and she can also take care of herself for periods so that you and your husband might be able to get some couples time as well.

Perhaps a friend might even accompany her (paying their own way, of course).  Then she would have someone to hang out with.

Answer 10

Do you realize we can read your other questions?

You have a 1 y/o on one and this one a 15y/o. You live with your crazy MIL and have a drunk BIL. Which one is true?

Answer 11

she shouldnt stay alone that long. during the day for a while is fine but if your going out of town she should go to her grandmothers.

there is nothing wrong with going on cruises with your husband, though

Answer 12

I think you should take her with you and I think you should have been doing that for a while now.

I could see going on vacation and not taking her when she was younger and leaving her with the family but now that she is older I think you should take her with you guys. That is if that is what she wants. If that is not what she wants at the age of 15 she is old enough to stay at home by herself but I would still have family check in with her every day. (I would say someone should go over there at least once a day and call at least a couple times a day)

We at the moment go on vacation without our daughter and will without our son but that is because she is 3. We have already been talking about taking her a few places next year maybe since she will be 4, but leaving him behind because he will only be 1. Now we are only talking theme parks and stuff for now for her. When she is 5 or 6 though we will probably start taking her on vacations with us, and the same for our son. When he is old enough to come along I will bring him along. (That is if we don't change our minds later down the road and go ahead and take him with us when we start taking our daughter along)

I think you need to grow up a little and live like you have a daughter instead of young teens or someone who is in there 20s.

Answer 13

have a serious talk with your daughter about this, your daughter maybe getting the similar vibe your friend has

is good to take family vacations

Answer 14

I'm so sorry that your daughter isn't in on any of the fun with her parents.  I couldn't imagine leaving my kids everytime I went away with my husband.  We do vacations as a family, we don't leave our children out.  That would be unfair, not to mention in poor taste to constantly do so.

... Very interesting.  In another question you stated that you have been married for two years and have a one year old child.  Now you have a 15 year old who is an only child.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

So, with whom do you leave your 1 year old?  Do you leave him/her alone at home?

Grow up, stop abusing the internet with lies.  When you actually have a child of your own for real, perhaps then you'll realize that posting fake stories on the internet is immature.

Answer 15

I agree. Why have avoided taking her on any of your trips? It doesn't have to be all of them but my goodness, why is she stuck behind while mommy and daddy go off and play all the time? Seems rather unfair to me

Answer 16

The real question is what does your daughter think?  Have you ever asked her if she would like to join you on your trips? This is something you really need to talk to your daughter about.  She is old enough to understand and have a point of view on this.  So  buck up the courage and ask her about it.  At 13 I would have started taking her with me but give her a separate adjoining room, but that is just me.

Answer 17

Well, are you going for a week or for a month? I think it's reasonable for parents after 15 years to occasionally do something on their own if the child is having a great time with a beloved relative.  She'll probably remember the time with grandma as special.

If you're leaving for months at a time, then I'd say that's different, and maybe you should think of something you can do as a family.

In a couple of years she'll be gone out into the world, and you can spend unlimited time to yourselves.  So personally I'd probably keep the with husband vacations very short, and spend time with my daughter while I still could.  But everyone deserves a recharge now and then, and kids deserve the chance to bond with other caring adults from time to time, as well.

edit -- rereading your question i get that i missed that this seems to be a really common thing.  i can see leaving your kid with grandma for a week every summer or something for special time ... if you're leaving her for a week every season or something, that seems a little overboard to me.

Answer 18

Do you ever take trips as a family?  I don't see a problem with couples having trips together, but I think it's just as important to spend time as a family.

Answer 19

ur friend is right stop traveling so much and pay attention to ur daughter

Answer 20

I don't think these are the answers you were looking for. You should include her on some of your trips with you. I have to admit, I agree with your friend.

Answer 21

Take her along- it's never too good for a girl's confidence that her parents leave her at home when on vacations.

A fifteen year old girl doesn't have the best confidence.

Personally, it would be enough to hurt anyone's feelings.

Answer 22

Well my parents always took all 3 of us kids on vacation!  We would go during the summer, spring break.  We've gone everywhere canada, states! A few trips required a plane, most driving ourselves.  I couldn't imagine leaving my children behind.  

You have plenty of time when she's on her own to travel.  She's only a child for a while, include her in these trips.  It's a part of growing up!  Now that i have children i enjoy sharing my adventures with them, and hope to take them to those place someday as well!  

It's not fair to your daughter, especially if she has no other siblings.  

It should be a fun thing for all of you, something to look forward to.  Family vacations are by far the best!  

Like i said lots of time to honey moon after she's left the nest.  You two are still young.  Start including her in your plans!

Answer 23

Since your friend brought it up, why not talk to your daughter?  Maybe a good solution would be to have your daughter come along, but let her invite a friend?  That way, you can still have some family activities, but there's independance for both you and your husband, and her as well.

I personally hated it when left alone (I have two older brothers, one was already away at college, and the other one was always out)...

Hope it works out for you