What do you think of women who boss around their husbands?

Question

I have a friend whose wife has him on a leash- she yells at him and his answer is always 'yes dear'. She's not an attractive woman- she's a fat beast- yet he takes her verbal abuse.She has driven away most of his friends.

Of course she doesn't work-My friend works a double shift, while his wife sits home watching soap operas and getting fat. They don't have kids, as she doesn't want them.

What should he do? Ever have a wife or girlfriend that was a bullying beast?

Answer 1

I have had that tone with my husband a time for two... BUT if you're going to ignore your wife who needs help with two children and a house, who also works... then I bet you can understand why I've had to. I don't boss around though, I have raised my voice. I have apologized after, but its hard when he is on the computer with headsets on and turns it up just to ignore me....

As for this husband and wife... she clearly has something he likes, or he wouldn't stay and take it... and certainly wouldn't say "yes dear"... Or, maybe he just doesn't have a back bone... so really, it isn't up to you as to what he should do. He either needs to step up and be a man, tell her to no longer disrespect him.... OR zip it...

You can't complain and not do anything about it. Thats not how it works. If you're not going to do anything, stop complaining... Thats my two cents...

Answer 2

I can't help but wonder what her attractiveness has to do with any of this. I mean, she sounds like a foul woman, but would she be any less foul if she were pretty? Should you take abuse from a beautiful woman?

Obviously, he should issue her an ultimatum - either do something with your life, or I'm off. There may be underlying issues, such as depression, which can be solved and dealt with. But if she doesn't realise she's doing something wrong, she won't change it.

Answer 3

He obviously likes something about her to stay with her.  Sounds like a lot of your attitude comes from the fact that this woman is fat.  As though if she were beautiful it would be okay.  

Answer 4

Can this answer wait until I ask my wife . . . . .?

Answer 5

I am a bully but not a beast. I am over controlling and I yell alot and I have anger problems and I take things out of proportion.  I scream and belittle, I call him every name in the book and I threaten to leave all the time.  

was I like this before him,  NO.

Its all a matter of circumstance, people get fed up and they start acting like the moster in the closet even if they dont want to. I wish i could take the evil back but now i cant stop.

Answer 6

Wow, he's an idiot for allowing that.

Answer 7

He prolly stays with her due to lack of self esteem on his part.  Sounds like she is abusive and no one should stay in an abusive relationship.  He should be able to spend time with his friends as well as have a woman who appreciates him for who he is.  Unless there are young children at home and they can afford it, she should be working to help the household.  He just made a bad choice and seems he dont know how to get out of it.

Answer 8

I never try to guess what gos on in someone else house what you see isn't always what you get he may put up a front in your presents he maybe different when he is alone with her. Some people show there true face to the world and some only show it in private so you may only see the anger she has because she doesn't care to hide it and he does.

Answer 9

I don't think about the woman so much as I feel bad for the guy.  He has to take the abuse and he doesn't have the sack to stand up for himself.

He simply lets her do what she wants, so I don't fault the woman.

Answer 10

Why is your friend allowing this womwn to live his life for him? It seems he loves her so much that he is scared hemight lose her if he expressed his feelings! Talk to your friend and tell him to open up to his wife, she might not see the bad things she is causing her husband and how much she has put him through cos he never complains. Tell him to talk to her about it if it doesnt work then they should see a marriage counseller or a xchurch priest if she still doesn't change then i don't think the marriage ia favopurable for him cos he might even lose his job because of her. All the best

Answer 11

ummmm tell him to LEAVE HER. She's using him basically.

Answer 12

He needs to find his spine and tell her to get off her lazy *** and find herself a job.

I'm not surprised he does a double shift, who'd want to spend time with a "fat beast"?

Answer 13

He is still there for a reason. There are many things we don't know about, maybe she's awesome in bed, maybe she has a nice soft spot when they are alone, mybe he likes to be on a short leash (some people do, believe it or not), or maybe he is just head over heels for her.

In any case, it is up to him to ditch her, stand up to her, whatever. Anything you say against his wife will make you look bad in the end. He has to make that decision himself.

Answer 14

In situations like this I really have no opinion of the woman. I always wonder what kind of "man" lets himself be abused in this way.

Since there are no kids involved he must have some other reason to stay with her. Perhaps he has calculated how much it would cost him to divorce her and decided it's not worth it.

Perhaps his mother treated his father the same way and he thinks this is normal.  

I have never seen my brother take any c**p from anybody his whole life, except his wife.  She treats him like a dog and he knows it.

Answer 15

Is her name Moo Moo Lovins??

Anyone who tollerates this form of abuse is spineless.

Tell him to MAN UP and move on.

Answer 16

Is he a man or a mouse? He needs to assert his role as her husband and the man of the house. He chose this by marrying her and not standing up for himself. She's not the one to blame, she only does it because he lets her get away with it.

Answer 17

I think you need to butt out and mind your own business.  He is married to her and not you.  Maybe you should be his mistress on the side since you seem to care about it so much.  

Answer 18

Tell him to man up. No real man would let a woman boss him around. No smart woman would try to put a leash on a man either.

Answer 19

why do the men let them?

he's just as much at fault for enabling it as she is for dishing it out  

Answer 20

Of course she is going to keep doing it if he doesn't stop her.  By the sounds of it he is not bothered by it.  Only you are. And maybe he doesn't see her as a "fat beast"... it is wrong what she is doing, but he is letting her do it!

Answer 21

perhaps she's very good in the sack .if not tell him to close the door after he leaves her .

Answer 22

I boss around my husband because I know that, left to his own devices, he'd sit before the computer between coming home from work and bedtime. He knows it too. I need his help and he gives it, I just have to push him around to get it. Works for us.

Answer 23

I usually think "man, what a *****." Well, he should do what makes him happy. He puts up with it, so either he's happy with it, or he has no balls. Basically though, he lacks self esteem and he figures it's either this or a lifetime of being single. Sounds like he'd be better of being single and having fun.  

Answer 24

May be your friend is the submissive sort.

If he complains that he doesn't know what to do, tell him to leave her.  BUT if it doesn't bother him, why stick your nose in?

Answer 25

I wouldn't call my friend a beast but that sounds just like her and her husband. It's not that she bosses him around it's more like anything she says she gets away with it, whatever she wants she gets it, she has him on some kind of lease and I'm sure he is enjoying it because he is allowing her to do it. He may come to me or my Husband and complain but what is the point when he is afraid to say anything to her? She's always been this way from the beginning. He has to like the way she is to be around this long and married her when she has a child of her own. We make fun of him all the time. If he wants to change things around then he needs to grow some balls and speak up, don't allow her to do what she does because it won't ever stop. It's not like I am saying to tell her NO all the time, there should be limits and one should be respected. If not then why be a part of that marriage. I feel bad for my friend's husband but it is his fault for not saying anything to her. They were married in Dec 2006 and she hasn't even changed her last name yet. She doesn't intend to and it hurts him but he just lets it slide just like everything else she does. Trying not to be bias since she is my friend, I've accepted who she is, not the best person I would want to know but she is my friend for many years. I just can't accept how a man will allow a woman to do those kind of things to him, to me it is disrespectful.  

Answer 26

I'd say your friend is in a relationship with a really controlling spouse, and that he's in that relationship because he either likes it, he's getting something from it, or he feels emotionally trapped and unable to leave.

Your friend might have low self-esteem and thinks he deserves this kind of treatment, or he might be into being controlled, or he might think he deserves to be punished.

Either way, your friend could probably benefit from some therapy if he feels unhappy in his relationship.  If he's perfectly happy, I don't see how it's any of your business.

Answer 27

No! Women who boss their husbands around are mean people. Soon, the husbands will get back on their wives if they are yelled at too much. Sometimes this leads to divorce. Your friend replies, "Yes Dear," because he is trying to stay calm with himself, or he is trying to make his wife think he is O.K. with it. But being a mean person to your husband is a mean thing, and usally ends up in a bad way.