What do you think on my freestyle"Hip-Hop thought and Hip-Hop Dreams" ?

Question

Hip-Hop isn’t the problem,

And it aint the solution

I’m just another person Trying to stop the confusion,

Stop the pollution,

Stop stereotyping the rhymes,

Can’t a person speak they mind?

Love is so hard to find in this world of crime,

In this world of hatred,

So I’m tell you how it really is,

These kids never got to choose,

Rich or poor,

Ugly or alluring,

It’s all the same to god who is adoring,

When you small your parents tell you “do anything you have forethought”,

But you got to crawl before you walk,

Have to listen before you talk,

Practice before you perform,

Hold steady ready for the thunderstorm,

Don’t let haters bother anymore,

They don’t even know what they was really hating for,

Come one, live for what’s in store,

Got in your heart so much more,

Words can hurt anymore,

Hip-Hop should be appreciated for the good not evil,

It should be used to bring up not down other people,

The talent rises up to the top of the steeple,

No one can keep Hip-Hop down its simple,

Because shouts are heard father than a whimper,

So the hype makes waves just like a crimper,

If you just listen for a minute the wisdom will go further,

Even if you is just a new learner,

Hip-Hop always going to be on lock,

It’s just non-stop,

Gonna zap you like static shock,

Unlock hip-hop from the death,

Because the people have taken it and beat it till the is hardly any left.

Answer 1

Same problem as the rap, it doesn't have a rhythm.  Give it a repeating rhythm and it would be good.

dd

Answer 2

That's great!  While I was reading it, I definitely got a feel for a slam-style poem, and it would do well as one.  It also reminds me of Bridget Gray's "My Letter to Hip-Hop" - you should check it out.  Anyway, very nice:)