What do you think "open" adoption means?

Question

How many visits, pictures, and letters a year are these first moms getting? How intertwined do you think their lives are?

Answer 1

It varies, family to family.  The birthmother is the one who makes the specific requests, and then the adoptive family agrees to it (or does not accept the adoption match.) before delivery, and all sign the agreement.

I just spoke with a birthmother I work with who has an open relationship with her baby/adoptive family.  She has gone to see them twice since her baby was born a year ago.  The parents talk by phone about once a month, and email about twice a month.  They are all very happy about the relationship, and the baby is of course going to benefit tremendously from this open adoption.

Last week I spoke with a birthmother I have been working with  for over 10 years.  She was feeling sad lately, and needed to talk.  It wasn't time for her once a year photos (she chose a semi-open adoption), but I contacted the adoptive parents.  They emailed a bunch of photos to her, and per my suggestion, called her.  She was able to speak with her them, and her daughter for about an hour (not something she had asked for in her continuing contact plan.)  She was very happy about the call!

These are just two examples.  But all four of these families are very content with their continuing contact plan.